Curator of Horribilities

Happy 20th Birthday John Freeman

"no you can't control the computer because uh that would be user unfriendly" <- shit they expect us to believe

"The user doesn't know what they are doing, but luckily we are smart and can make all the decisions for them" <- voice of an operating system that kills its own firewall for no reason and doesn't tell anyone for months until you ask it where the firewall is

@naiadkitty @leahstuff

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

UPDATE: I think I may have gone too far on this. I was making a whole production of being stupefied and enfeebled after he brought me my morning pistachio frappe. I had my manservant bring me to my chambers so I could cough weakly in my bed with the sunshine falling weakly across my pallid face because I know he really likes that but he didn't even smile and I heard him whispering "I didn't even poison that one" to his dark serpent. Now he hasn't even whispered maliciously into my ear all day and the servants say they saw him alone in his chambers bouncing his scrying orb into the wall. Should I come clean and apologise or do I try to make it seem like someone else poisoned me? It might cheer him up to have an imaginary rival to plot against

stop calling your own work slop

stop forcing yourself to disengage with what you love because a layer of irony makes it more comfortable. admit you care and let yourself feel good about it

“the author’s barely disguised fetish” is the 2020s version of “were they on drugs when they made this?! XD”

Every discord server has that miserable bastard with nothing positive to say but sticks around for some reason