World of Cool Skeleton

it is not only fucking stupid but also actively dangerous to pretend that anyone who shares your orientation label shares your political cause and is a safe individual in community with you

children are so fucking funny man. i just overheard a kid go “i just learned a new way to pinch, wanna see it? it hurts a lot more!” followed by a loud, notably pained scream

i would simply chop his limbs off with my claw hands

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

im angry at myself for walking into that so perfectly

So, listen, I'm not usually the "did a squid write this" guy, but this article is about how these massive predators aren't dangerous and also aren't very nutritious, so I really gotta wonder about this one

Squid is made for hugging. Let squid hug baby, tentacled good for hug baby…

sorry man, i just looked that movie up on doestheantdie.com and...let's just watch something else, ok?

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

Walk Like No One Is Driving

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc