trying on a metaphor
Kiana Khansmith
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
#extradirty
Jules of Nature
⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
ellievsbear
almost home
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
ojovivo
KIROKAZE
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@averagesizedperson
Help me. I am a 8 year old boy living in the illegitimate Yankee Capitalist regime. President Xi, our shelves are empty and we are hungry. I am asking you to liberate my state of Connecticut with your Chengdu J-20 Stealth air superiority fighters and your Dongfeng 41 Missiles.
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I don't know how to articulate this well, but I really fucking hate the way a lot of thin writers write fat characters. Like how men write women "breasting boobily" there is something so dehumanizing about how fat characters are often written. "He waddled", "he lumbered", the writer of the book I'm reading always mentions this characters "fleshy hand" when he does something with his hand. Like, we already know that he's fat. There is no need to describe everything he does as "doing it fatly".
*fishes this absolute treasure from the tags*
oh my god it hurts
and it's going to hurt forever
every now and then I see people passing screencaps of these posts around, and in the months after I made this post there were people checking in on me assuming I was going through grief or depression or something
to set the record straight, the context is that I had covid and was bleeding from my throat and lungs, but for some ungodly reason, I was feverishly driven to drink lemonade and kept screaming and writhing because I was pouring fizzy lemon juice on open throat wounds
if female top nudity weren't viewed as inherently sexually explicit. oh brother. I would be letting those puppies hang like you wouldn't believe
the thing is I would be okay with being viewed as sexually attractive while topless. like a shirtless cis man can be a considered a hunk beefcake eye candy etc but it's not by nature r-rated. usamerican society at large is able to understand that toplessness can be sexually appealing but is not in itself a sexual act when a man does it. if I could be just casually topless on a hot day or something without the little flashing light over my head saying think of the CHILDREN I would be getting minoan with it
important message to all of my followers
you are now all trapped in my vast puzzle dungeon. good luck.
Can I get a hint
HINT MOUSE SAYS: *in a little squeaky voice* collect the silver rod from fabio’s grotto and bring it to the bridge of malice. be sure to talk to “knight doogle” on the way. *hint mouse scurries away into a nearby hole*
i go to fabios grotto
*you hear the sound of distant strained moaning, followed by the creaking of something getting up from an old wooden chair. something is approaching you.*
FABIO: welcome to my grotto.
I say hello to Fabio, and ask them if they have a Silver rod?
FABIO: silver rod? oh….
*fabio dissappears into his grotto and rummages around in his back room. he is gone for quite some time and hasn’t offered you anything to eat or drink, so you just stand around in his home feeling really awkward. what if he lives with relatives and they come out and say something to you?*
FABIO: sorry that took so long. here’s my silver rod. now that i remember i have it at all, it’s my most treasured posession. you’ll have to offer me something for it
i offer to knit fabio a nice hat, for when the grotto gets drafty in the wintertime.
FABIO: what a wonderful hat. thank you.
I thank Fabio for his help, and leave the Grotto to head for the Bridge of Malice.
*fabio snatches the silver rod back from you and hits you across the room with it like a baseball bat*
FABIO: help??? what help? we never reached a deal. i was simply thanking you for such a lovely hat. i demand more.
i give fabio two shoes made for dancing.
*fabio slips his new dancing shoes on. his socks are a bit wet so it makes a funny fart noise*
FABIO: wonderful boots! *fabio does an embarrassing dance move with all the coordination of a dead windmill but he’s having fun so you’re encouraging towards him* FABIO: but…it’s still not enough for me to part with my beloved rod…
I give Fabio a big pair of glasses for his big beautiful eyes.
FABIO: my magnificent glistening eyes have been magnified by these lovely glasses! i can see my treasured silver rod better than ever now and it’s even more beautiful than i thought. it’ll take something really special for me to part with this..
I go ask Doogle for help
*fabio cackles and waves as you excuse yourself from his grotto, which was easier than expected because fabio seems more interested in the gifts he has recieved than your company at the moment, and head back towards the guard tower you actually passed on your way but didn’t notice until now*
*as you approach the tower, a metal face peeks around the corner*
KNIGHT DOOGLE: huh? what? who goes there? i left my spear in the tower but if you’re up to no good i will really go back and get it. i’m really tough.
I remove Doogle’s helmet.
*you catch doogle off guard the moment he nervously breaks eye contact with you and lift off his helmet*
KNIGHT DOOGLE: ah! my helmet! i needed that to protect my head from attacks! why did you do that?
*doogle paces around a small radius of a few feet looking very worried*
knight doogle you are beautiful
KNIGHT DOOGLE: huh? oh, thank you, that’s very sweet. but you didn’t have to just take off my helmet like that, you could have asked first. i feel so embarrased now. *doogle shuffles back to his tower like a sad sneaking tree, and then returns, armed with a spear*
KNIGHT DOOGLE: sorry, i hope this isn’t threatening to you. i have lost all my confidence so i’m just holding this as a comfort item.
Wanna help us Get Fabio’s Silver Rod?
KNIGHT DOOGLE: fabio’s silver rod? he’ll forget about it in a week or two, he always forms fleeting attachments to things. but if you need it sooner rather than later, there’s one thing he has always desired above anything else…all i can tell you about it is that it’s small, yellow, and quite helpful.
we call hint mouse for help
*from a nearby hole, you and doogle both watch a creature, that’s small, yellow, and helpful scamper towards you. it’s the ever so helpful HINT MOUSE!!!*
*a round of applause and cheering is heard*
HINT MOUSE: *in a little squeaky voice* ahem ahem… it is me, a mouse am i! i only tell truths and i never lie! reliable, helpful, and handsome to boot! for all of your labour, i am the fruit!
*hint mouse looks around, hoping you’re all impressed by his new rhyming speech thing he’s trying out. rhyming is hard for mice because poetry is frowned upon in mouse culture*
I clap politely in appreciation of his speech and ask him if he would like to come visit Fabio with us
HINT MOUSE: thank you, i really appreciate the support. i will happily come and visit fabio with you…oh, sorry, hang on.
*hint mouse clears his throat*
HINT MOUSE: i’m always here for you, that’s my motto. so i shall accompany you to fabio’s grotto! you’ve supported me in all my life choices you’re a lifelong friend to all little…moices!
*he messed up a little at the end, but he did really well, all things considering. you, doogle, and hint mouse arrive again at fabio’s grotto, however the door is closed, though not locked.*
i knock politely and ask if Fabio is home
*your knock on the door echos throughout the surrounding area, and you can hear a familiar voice call to you from inside*
FABIO: come on in…so long as you’re not a greedy thief…yee hee hee…
I smile warmly at hint mouse, look knowingly at knight doogle, and gently push open the door
*the door opens, but it required quite a shove, as it feels like something is in the way. as you step into his grotto, hundreds of items are strewn across the floor.
FABIO: oh….welcome back…! since you’ve been gone, people have been laying items at my feet, all to get my beloved silver rod! it must be truly valuable..or truly blessed! as long as i have it, i’ll become the richest man in the caves! gah hah hah!
I turn to hint mouse and ask him to recite Fabio a poem that’ll blow his socks (and newly acquired shoes) off
*hint mouse looks back at you and nods, then leaps from your hand, hopping lightly from object to object across the room. fabio is so engorged on avarice that he’s already forgotten that you entered the room at all.*
HINT MOUSE: *gets fabios attention by briefly playing on a tiny flute*
the room is silent. hint mouse owns the stage now.
HINT MOUSE: ahem ahem! you’ve gathered yourself quite a collection! but now youve…oh…uhh…ah!! (why did i end a verse with “collection”?? this is awful…what should i do?)
I whisper ‘correction…dejection…direction…. affection’ to HINT MOUSE out of the corner of my mouth, with the realization that his hint-giving generosity has taught me how to give hints to others myself
*hint mouse is re-energized with the inspiration he needs to finish his poem*
HINT MOUSE: you’ve assembled yourself quite a collection! but i have arrived to give you affection. your riches are piled right up to the cieling but deep down i know you suffer with a feeling. (feels awkward but…i can keep going! everyone believes in me!) you’re cooped up in here and you’re all alone just yourself, a rod, and an old wooden throne it doesn’t have to be that way, you don’t have to be bleak let me introduce myself, i’m hint mouse, squeak squeak! in exchange for the rod, i’ll be your best friend a little yellow creature who you can always depend! *applause is heard yet again, the crowd is going hog wild.*
*fabio takes a gentle tumble down his tower of riches and cradles hint mouse in his arms*
FABIO: hint mouse…that was beautiful. you’d do all that just to help an old man? you’re truly the best treasure i could ever ask for, i’ll cherish our friendship forever…
FABIO: thank you so much all of you. i have no need for material goods anymore. the silver rod is yours to take!
*you obtained the silver rod at last!*
i bring the silver rod to the bridge of malice
*you and doogle leave fabio’s grotto, silver rod in tow. fabio and hint mouse wave goodbye to and live the rest of their lives in peace.*
*as you walk towards malice bridge, doogle turns to you.*
KNIGHT DOOGLE: sorry i didn’t say or do much back there…what happened was really beautiful though.
*knight doogle stops and thinks for a second, his ears and hair sway in the breeze and it looks so cool*
KNIGHT DOOGLE: i’ve spent my whole adult life just guarding my tower selfishly, but people like hint mouse do so much to help others. once this is over i’m going to change my lifestyle, i’ll give up the knight life.
*you enjoy the rest of your walk with doogle, and eventually arrive at malice bridge, which despite the name, is actually pretty ordinary. at the other end of the bridge, light from the surface trickles down, the way out.*
*suddenly, the air around you grows cold, a shiver travels up your spine, and a giant shimmering monster appears out of nowhere*
SILVER GUARDIAN: YOUR JOURNEY IS ALMOST OVER, TRAVELLERS! I AM THE MASTER OF MALICE BRIDGE! HAVE YOU SEEN MY MISSING FINGER ANYWHERE?
present the silver rod (or finger, i guess?) to the silver guardian! ask he how lost it, too, if it proves to be his
*the silver guardian rattles and shakes with glee*
SILVER GUARDIAN: MY FINGER! MY PRECIOUS DIGIT! OH…I LOST IT BECAUSE I WAS POKING AROUND IN MOUSE HOLES LOOKING FOR HINT MOUSE, BUT A LESS HELPFUL MOUSE STOLE IT…
*the silver guardian reattaches its finger, which is gross, so you look away while it does that*
SILVER GUARDIAN: NOW HUMAN….ARE YOU READY TO LEARN THE TRUE PURPOSE OF THE SILVER ROD?
*you tremble as the silver guardian does some really confusing poses with its hand, not entirely sure where it’s going with this.*
SILVER GUARDIAN: HEH HEH HEH….TO CROSS THE BRIDGE YOU GO IN THIS DIRECTION!!!!
*as you cross the bridge to the outside world, the rocky walls of the dungeon give way to fields and forests.at the middle of the bridge, you turn back, and all of your friends are there, and now they are all friends with each other all thanks to you.*
HINT MOUSE: go ahead and be free! meeting you has filled me with glee! FABIO: you have people waiting for you out there, go and be with them! DOOGLE: i’ll never forget our adventure, you can keep my helmet to remember me! SILVER GUARDIAN: I DIDN’T REALLY GET TO KNOW YOU THAT WELL TO BE HONEST BUT YOU SEEM COOL. THANK YOU FOR FINDING MY FINGER! *you turn around for the last time, and step outside* THE END
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and honestly it's just fucking insane that every time we try to talk about harm to children in particular we have to talk circles around the fact that these things are very, very overwhelmingly done by parents/family members/teachers/religious leaders/known and trusted adults in a position of power over a child, to the extent that many people's suggested solution to child abuse is "give the people most likely to abuse a child EVEN MORE strangling legal and material power over the kid"
you're not supposed to actually address who is abusing children and what can be done to give those children recourse and the ability to leave abusive situations because nobody actually gives a shit about child abuse beyond the familial property rights violation it represents to them and the cudgel against minorities which it can be turned into
One of my favorite screenshots
i actually never want to hear anything bad about him again
i audibly went "aww" i fucking love this stupid chud
HIMEDANSHI BERDLEY?
are those my only options
republicans: homeless people should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
democrats: persons experiencing houselessness should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
this post posits a utopian world where either of these parties would support feeding schoolchildren, making it a masterclass in "hopepunk"
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"all of them inshallah"
Egyptians continue to be hilarious
not she berry or he berry but no berry
and that is berry good
thinking of making a joke about a 4chan style guy who hates public transport calling someone a Metroid. but i dont have the energy. i just dont got it
So there was this group of guys that walked past me, and one of these dudes says....
Did you, the reader, imagine a single one of them was a woman? No, obviously you didnt. No one does, because these are not gender-neutral terms.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I don’t know if anyone will read this… or if my voice will disappear like everything else we lost.
My name is Suhaila, a mother of five children.
My daughter Mira is in a very critical condition, and every passing moment brings us closer to losing her if help does not arrive in time.
I hold her small hand, watch her struggle to breathe, and pray for one more chance for her life.
Please… act now. Silence is taking her away from me. Every moment without help brings us closer to losing her. I beg you from my heart, don’t scroll past—help us before it’s too late.
Every second matters. Any small donation can help save her life. Please don’t ignore us. Share this message, donate if you can. Your kindness could give my daughter a chance to live and see tomorrow
Every second now is precious, and every act of kindness could be the reason she survives.
I am not asking for anything impossible—just a chance for my daughter to live, to stay with her siblings, and to have a tomorrow.
Please do not ignore this message.
If you cannot donate, please share it.
Your compassion might be the reason Mira lives.
I beg you with all my heart, stop here – donate, share, choose compassion before this silence becomes my daughter’s end.
Thank you for listeningMy daughter is on the edge of death. Every passing second could cost her life.
Share, donate now, and don’t let silence steal her minutes. Your kindness can save her today.
Donation link below 👇
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #724 )✅️
Hi my name is Mickey and I'm raising funds for: Suheila, who is a m… Mickey Dee needs your support for Support Suhaila's family in
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💬 69 🔁 7018 ❤️ 1447 · My name is Suheila from Gaza 🇵🇸, a mother of 5 children, living with my family in a tent after the war destroyed ou
My children are searching for their clothes under the rubble. This is my destroyed home Please help my orphaned children in Palestine. Help them
Help us. Save us. We are slowly dying. 😭💔🙏
I am a mother of five children, and today we are living through one of the most terrifying moments of our lives.
The army has ordered the evacuation of the areas around us. People are running in fear, carrying their children and whatever little they have left. I recorded a video so the world can see the suffering we are going through and the fear surrounding us every second.
We have no money to leave, no safe place to go, and nowhere to protect my children. Every moment feels like danger is getting closer to us. My children are terrified, and I do not know how to keep them safe anymore.
Please, I beg you, help us before it is too late. Help us before we are bombed and disappear like so many others. Any support, donation, or share could save the lives of my children.
Please do not ignore our cries for help.
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #724 )✅️
Donation link
Hi my name is Mickey and I'm raising funds for: Suheila, who is a m… Mickey Dee needs your support for Support Suhaila's family in
THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!!
KOSA IS MOVING FORWARD IN THE HOUSE!
It's part of a package called the KIDS Act, filled with digital ID and age verification and censorship!
MAKE THOSE PHONES RING!! CALL YOUR HOUSE REPRESENTATIVES ALL WEEK
202-224-3121 i HIGHLY encourage everyone to read the bills in the KIDS Act, because you will be doing more than 95% of people who read and introduce these bills
All of the bad internet bills. One website.
Crucially, this is being led by a lot of Democrats. This is not just Republicans sneaking bullshit in while they have the power to simply not listen to anyone; your democratic representatives will continue to co-sponsor and speak in support of this unless they know you, their voters, do not want them to.
