yeah i’m just kinda here

“take care of your mental health—” bro frick my mental health, what’s it ever done for me 🤨

“do you take criticism well?” the interviewer asks me and i immediately respond with a hearty “yes” knowing full well that i don’t handle criticism well but i fear the criticism i will inevitably perceive from this stranger if i say no and so i lie through my teeth hoping to make it through this interaction without having an internal meltdown cause i’ve convinced myself if i don’t present myself as the perfect candidate this person will despise me (this is literally a minimum wage job)

autistics be like “i know a comfortable position” and then contort themselves into the weirdest shape ‘cause it feels ✨right✨

you know your senses are wired a little ✨differently✨ when you touch an ~icky~ texture and your immediate reaction is "ew that tasted wrong"

o weak mortal, you thought your little reminder alarms and cute organized to-do lists and trite focus tips and silly reward systems could have any effect on me but those tricks are utterly useless FOR I…HAVE ADHD *thunder* *lightning* *scary organ music*

i love how i'll read back through journals and one entry will be like "today was pretty good i guess since i didn't make a fool out of myself, also i talked at least once in class" like bro i wish i could say things have changed, but that's still basically me every day 💀

if a guy ever said to me "i just see you as a friend" i would legit jump up and shout "HALLELUJAH!!!" cause 1) aroace and 2) bro i just want friends and i feel like a fake friend all the time so i would get validation that i am impacting someone's life in a positive way and i'm not a worthless human being 🥰

autistic listening to music be like "AHHHH MY STIM SONG IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY ugh this song doesn't make me feel anything skip skip skip skip skip skip THE SOUNDS ARE VIBRATING THE NEURONS IN MY BRAIN arrrrgh why can't i find a good song nothing sounds interesting i don't want to listen to music anymore I FOUND A NEW STIM SONG, TIME TO LISTEN TO IT ONE HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW *wild arm movements*"

“new year, new me!” *starts constructing new persona to show in public based on whatever piece of media i’m obsessed with right now*

today on “why am i feeling so awful today” we have our contestants Social Anxiety, Social Burnout, Impending Autistic Meltdown, Hunger, Sleep Deprivation, and an all-time fan favorite, AVPD Crippling Low Self-Esteem. let’s all give them a round of applause!

"hey i'm so sorry for not replying, i must've missed your email" is just so much easier to write and understand than "hey so my adhd object impermanence made me forget that your email even existed, then my social anxiety made me worry you would hate me if i replied now, and my avpd was telling me to just ignore you cause you probably don't like me anyway and i’m terrified of the rejection that might follow and honestly it's a miracle that i'm even replying now so haha i'm doing great, anyways here's the one sentence response that literally took me three months to send"

autistic life truly isn’t about the destination, it’s about the allistics we weirded out along the way 😌