its also just as important to not coddle survivors and view all victims as some delicate piece of china, we are more than what we endured and deserve to be seen as the independent people we are. trauma may follow you through every conscious moment in your life but it will never define you ♡

"its not that bad!"

until you've been trafficked to everyone in your local area, you have no idea what its like to live with it. please stop belittling struggles, it is not your job to do that. respect my trauma for its severity and let me know i'm safe instead of invalidating me and telling me those years of rape were 'not that bad'.

I was sexually abused ages 3-about 8 years old. And I was in a cult when I was 13-14. I have a lot of mental disorders. I’m on disability because I cannot function like a normal person.

I don’t take care of myself. I’ve lost all motivation for self care and my hobbies. My mom helps me and tries to motivate me to do basic hygiene and do things like change my clothes , clean , take my medication, drink water and eat. I don’t do anything. I can laugh , I can have fun, I can force myself to do good but I’m exhausted from nothing.

All I think about is how to escape from my constant flashbacks , Stockholm syndrome , and disgusting thoughts. I used to cut myself. I’m a year clean. But now, if dangerous situations where I could get seriously hurt comes my way , I don’t stop it. Nothing too serious but yeah. For example: my brothers dog bit me. I tried to run away but before my mom got him away I just kind of accepted it. I could have got rabies. The thought of death and everything crossed my mind, and i realized I don’t want to die yet. But I do like pain. I feel pain , I can feel it a lot . I enjoy it. So whenever it happens to come by , I welcome it.

I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m on my phone and tablet all day, on the internet, on TikTok , on here on instagram. Talking to people who are like me. I’m a loser. I’m a low life. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be a real human being. And at this point I don’t know if I should even try anymore. But I have to, I have to keep fighting . I do want a life, a career, I want to go out into the world.

i just got out of a depressive episode and all i have to show for it are these coins !

>> AVPD — AGENDER

╋━ FLAG FOR AGENDERS WITH AVOIDANT PERSONALITY DISORDER , THOSE WHOSE AVPD IMPACTS THEIR AGENDER IDENTITY , ETC .

not exclusive to those who are professionally diagnosed.

tagging : @radiomogai @pdsarchive . inspired by [x] avpd flag by avpdvoidspace .

My therapist has expressed his speculation of me having avpd. He’s said my behavior and inner thoughts sound a lot like avpd and common in pwavpd.

I used to force myself to socialize and be very very extroverted in order to get myself out of my quiet shell. It helps, a lot with my generalized and social anxiety. But I feel so distant from people.

I would like to have more close relationships and open up, but I just can’t . I’m deeply afraid of ridicule and being embarrassed. I’m constantly embarrassed. I’m naturally loud and sort of obnoxious but I don’t know if I can help it, and everytime I socialize it ends up in me feeling ridiculed and like a clown.