Pay no attention to me.

Being a cameraman for The Jungle Book must have been awkward… just filming a boy running around in his underwear due to most parts being animated in after.

Me: :( Clouds: *start raining* Me: thanks, you get me :)

Must’ve missed this episode of Breaking Bad.

what am I supposed to do when I’m at work and a customer asks “do you use chip?” and I say “yes but we don’t use salsa” and they don’t even laugh

the first customer I tried this joke on was like the epitome of White Dad™️ and after I said it his face was stoic but his eyes swelled with extreme pride

Hey. You there. Aspiring author. Keep writing. The world needs your words. Every single author - big and small, indie and trad, young and old - once stood where you stand, wondering if they were kidding themselves. Keep going. You got this.

PAINT RESTORATION OF MESMERIZING

Will someone PLEASE clean the mona lisa

one of the houses on the end of my street is home to the members of a local irish folk band so some mornings i’ll be walking out to my bus stop to a rollicking accordion and mandolin like i’m finally setting out to seek my fortune on the high seas or some days i’ll come home to a weary aching lament that is so sweet and so yearning that i’ll miss the drowned lover i never had 

I’ve literally never been more jealous

I have never before seen such a brown kitty.

that scene in the emperors new groove where kuzco and yzma are going back and forth through the kitchen door ordering food from kronk while not noticing the other person is the height of comedy and nothing will ever surpass it

The emperors new groove is the height of comedy and nothing will ever surpass it

concept: a TV show runs for a decent number of years. More than four. The characterizations stay consistent. The writers don’t do anything wildly inappropriate like excuse rape or abuse. No one you’ve invested hours upon hours of your life into has their story reduced to a “shocking” death scene that has no meaning beyond that shock value. The quality of the storylines don’t take a sudden, strange spiral downward. When it ends, you leave it feeling bittersweet. Sad that it’s over, but glad you got to experience it and take a journey with some people who you came to care about.