Everyone, idk, go have a weird threesome or something
Xuebing Du
Not today Justin
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Sweet Seals For You, Always
DEAR READER
YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver

Love Begins

Janaina Medeiros

tannertan36
Three Goblin Art
Jules of Nature
Peter Solarz
trying on a metaphor
Monterey Bay Aquarium
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
🪼
Stranger Things
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@dont-spoop-yourself
Everyone, idk, go have a weird threesome or something

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"The best lie is the truth" - Tara Cole (funniest woman alive) to Nate Ford (man she is actively grifting)
Leverage S04E13 The Girls Night Out Job.
i love polyamory i love aromanticism i love QPRs i love communal child rearing let’s all get weirder forever

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Jacob Anderson as Louis de Pointe du Lac
Interview with the vampire 1.04
I feel like a lot of people engaging in torture are not treating their victims as if they could have blood borne pathogens 🤔
Is what my wife said apropo of nothing as we were silently drifting off to sleep
Uh oh
Is what she said when I immediately reached for my phone and opened Tumblr instead of responding
@everything-you-feel-is-real I know by tumblr tradition that I'm to say "impossible, my posts never blow up like that," or "please don't do this to me."
But I feel in my bones that you are right. If this is to be my wife's moment of glory, I am willing to suffer notification overload, that the world may know she is funny. #MyFunnyWife
Out of control Edwardian youths refuse to clap at production of Peter Pan, force distraught J.M Barrie to pull out rarely seen "Tinkerbell Fucking Dies" ending
You probably know this but shitpost ruining fun fact for anybody who doesn’t:
When the play first was performed, JM Barrie et al were so concerned this might happen that they instructed the orchestra to drop their instruments and clap at this point, just in case
I did not know this and I'm grateful for being informed
Peter Pan edited by Anne Hiebert Alton (2011)
(sorry to interrupt joke post but) this is true!
Children not clapping did happen too, (and some were even expected to have hissed, which was later written into the 1928 playscript and 1911 novel). But my all time favourite anecdote about it is from Pauline Chase (who played Peter)'s intro to Peter Pan's Post Bag 1909:
Children love to clap their hands at the play because then they feel that they are really part of it, and you can see them holding their hands poised ready to seize an opportunity. Their great chance is when I ask them to clap their hands if they believe in fairies, and so save Tink's life. But they are very wrathful if any one claps who has the reputation of being a cynic, and once there was quite an uproar in the front row of the dress circle because of a girl who clapped. Those about her pulled down her arms angrily. "How dare you clap," they cried, "when you know you don't believe in fairies!" There was one dreadfully hard-hearted little boy who came to the theatre not to clap. That was his object for coming, and he came round "behind" to tell me so in the middle of the play. His teeth were firm set. "I won't clap," he said doggedly; "I'm not going to clap." And when the time came he didn't clap; above the clapping of all the others I could hear him shouting from a box, "Peter, I'm not clapping."
(Tink was revived each time anyway)
the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading
i’m on that weird shit. i’m jacking odd. disturbating. creeping my meat
*scared* what’s gonna happen on june tenth

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i appreciate everyone on that post pointing out that being bad at computers doesn't mean you're stupid but unfortunately this is a coworker who won't stop feeding their dog york peppermint patties
the funniest part is that i agree in principle that all kinds of intelligence have value and dysfunctional processes are born of dysfunctional systems, but in practice i work with scabsy the papillon poisoner, who once tried to tank a union contract with universal $3 hourly raises because they were mad at Me Specifically for not backing them up when they said juneteenth shouldn't be a paid holiday
you may think you know why they were opposed to juneteenth as a paid holiday. but none of the other racists in the union or management had a problem with it, because saying no to a paid day off for literally any reason is fool behavior.
scabsy, however, has a specific monthly process that's due on the 19th of every month. so having a holiday on the 19th of june fucks with their due date. you might ask, wouldn't this also apply to every 19th that falls on a weekend? and you would be right. the other union members also pointed this out. and pointed out the many, many holidays that fuck with the timing on their jobs. including me, the person who regularly loses two days off a four day process for holidays i don't actually celebrate.
so while scabsy is racist, that is not why they spent an hour at my desk the next day berating me for being mean and not a team player before realizing i did not give a shit about them and switching tactics to telling management that the union was asking for too much and they should vote down the contract
#i had to call up our union rep like. hey. i don't know what the fuck to call this. but i feel like i should report it??#and the old-school ring-of-keys butch that was our rep at the time took like ten minutes to process what i was telling her#and when she did she was SO angry. she was like. i have literally never heard of a union member doing this. what the fuck.#this is when i started calling them scabsy when relating stories to internet friends#there are so many stories#their dog is named after a cardinal virtue because their spouse wouldn't let them give their child a puritan name#they do math on a print calculator and enter numbers off the receipt into excel#they once got into a longer checkout line at walmart to avoid a cashier they thought sounded gay (he was southern)#they call the dealership while at work to lease a new ford truck every 18 months#they are a landlord estranged from their liberal parents because they refused to get vaccinated#they are in at least five pyramid schemes that i am aware of
Text reads: #I fuck with this just because I lowkey have bad taste
Every woman eat and put on muscle weight NOWWW we have to move. I'm making an army
I'm having the roller coaster of emotions today

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FU Cake
You’re completely correct. Out of my way, able-bodied losers. Fuck you.