whomst

please i need him to die on 4th of july gaudy as fuck 'america 250' celebration that would be the funniest thing ever i wouldn't even bitch about the fireworks. i wouldn't even do that.

having a best friend who meets your level of freak is unmatched. you present them with the most unhinged, deeply buried thought from the depths of your psyche and instead of blinking blankly they just go "oh absolutely"—and I think that mutual brain rot like that is the highest form of intimacy actually.

salad is mostly items

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

Why is so much adult oriented 2d animation bastard ugly, do they know they don’t have to do that? The characters don’t have to projectile vomit all the time either, but maybe that’s asking too much

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

"it's a tv show" "it's not real" i don't care. NO SHOES ON THE BED

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

someone in the notes of the food poisoning poll stonefacedly reports they dont bother themselves with whether or not restaurants give them food poisoning, because everything their grandmother cooks does the same thing. and i think we should send someone to thoughtfully interview them

maybe werner herzog