may the flame that burns inside us burn everything around us

The identity of OP is unimportant because I’ve seen this sentiment all over the place. But when I saw this post I just felt compelled to talk about this mentality.

Most likely this same logic is not applied to, say, politicians. Let’s put aside the fact that there is (unfortunately) no concrete delineation between a person who is merely a “private citizen” and a person who might be in the “public interest.” That’s the kind of distinction that everyone has to subjectively make for themselves.

The “nobody can criticize anyone for any reason” outlook is a childish, hyper-individualistic outlook that contributes to Missing Stair type social dynamics.

Have you ever been in a house that had something just egregiously wrong with it? Something massively unsafe and uncomfortable and against code, but everyone in the house had been there a long time and was used to it? "Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you, there's a missing step on the unlit staircase with no railings. But it's okay because we all just remember to jump over it."

Some people are like that missing stair.

When I posted about a rapist in a community I belonged to, although I gave almost no details about the guy except "he's a rapist," I immediately got several emails from other members of that community saying "oh, you must mean X." Everyone knew who he was! Tons of people, including several in the leadership, instantly knew who I meant. The reaction wasn't "there's a rapist among us!?!" but "oh hey, I bet you're talking about our local rapist." Several of them expressed regret that I hadn't been warned about him beforehand, because they tried to discreetly tell new people about this guy. Others talked about how they tried to make sure there was someone keeping an eye on him at parties, because he was fine so long as someone remembered to assign him a Rape Babysitter.

(Please go on to read the whole “Missing Stair” blog post. It reflects some experiences I’ve had as well!)

I understand that rape accusations and “callout posts” can be used as vectors of harassment. It can also be really annoying for some rando who you’ve never talked to to send you a callout post for some other rando you’ve never talked to. I’ve seen a lot of that on tumblr especially in the late 2010’s. But there has to be some kind of reasonable position on this issue for people who actually want to live in community with other people instead of completely eschewing any kind of responsibility for the community you’re in. And at the same time it’s unsustainable to foster a culture of hypervigilance and paranoia.

You have to use your critical thinking skills, no matter what. There is no easy one-size-fits-all principle you can adopt.

the op linked the study in the replies & i’ve been skimming it & it’s actually rlly rlly interesting to think abt