this place has gone to the dogs

da2 dnd au where anders’s character meets fenris’s character and anders is like “I empathize with his slave past because of my character’s time in the circle and befriend him” and he rolls a 1

fenris’s character stays anyway (in the party plot because of hawke’s character) and at an opportune moment fenris is like “I think I can fix the problem with anders’ character and mine, gimme a shot,” and he rolls to have a thorough dialogue with anders’s character about mage rights and elf rights so they can understand each other and be on good terms for the rest of the quest. guess what he rolls

if bioware gave a shit about realism the game would immediately end if you gave fenris back to denarius because all the companions collectively kill you. 

what’s with the fic trope where varric handles hawke’s fortune

varric openly mopes about his brother having had all the business sense, actively doesn’t answer letters in regards to his own property and interests, can’t reliably answer questions about what the merchants’ guild even does, and spends cash wildly on his friends. hawke is a zero-to-hero mercenary who spent years counting every penny, who is trusted by their friends (many with serious need to be careful about cash!) to manage all the money spent on adventuring gear, and who on their own steam became one of the richest people in kirkwall. you think varric is handling the hawke fortune? be serious

there’s a much funnier and more realistic switch on this where hawke in the background of the plot has been running house tethras like the navy since the deep roads expedition and varric just doesn’t mention this because “tale of the champion” sells better than “story about my accountant”

My "friend": Woagh careful there! u almost slipped into the xianxia portal fantasy world filled with plants that have an aphrodisiac effect only to you because the inhabitants of the world are all already immune to them. That would have been bad! Me: 😶🔪

what are those. you know. the hiding places in english houses they used to put catholic priests in when that was illegal. what are they called. anyway kirkwall hightown needs those for mages. do you guys know what i’m talking abt or is this post unintelligible

they cannot seriously be called priest holes.

whats everyones toxic trait as a dragon age fan. not an unpopular opinion!!!!! but a toxic trait. mine is that i will always find a justification for making leliana divine and have no intention of ever doing otherwise :)