victim of the sands of time

we have to put you in the hourglass again im sorry we all had a meeting about it and we decided we hate you and you are going to be put in an hourglass

don't worry about me. worry about my cursed necklace.

im not gonna release your soul from my magic gem. so stop asking

I have decided that I am incompatible with this reality. Meet me in a parallel universe.

"wizard" is a qualification, like "PhD". not just anyone can just call themselves a wizard.

to become a wizard you have to: be gay, pass the sorcerers' trial, do a funny little dance, be a MASSIVE bitch

LISTEN I ONLY DO UNETHICAL MAGIC IF ITS REALLY FUNNY

DRIVE SAFE

Please.

i don't get anon hate simply because everyone loves me and im their favourite. this is true

running home to show my mom the cursed amulet i made in arts and crafts today

my family has been cursed for generations to come

“i get my energy from social interaction” “i get my energy from being alone” i get MYenergy from my Sacred Amulet.

my mutuals all think i am very handsome and they all want to kiss me but they aren’t telling me this due to government censorship

Yea I want to rearrange your guts but first how was your day? Did you eat?

Me as a surgeon talking to the patient during their anesthesia

WHILE YOU WERE HAVING PREMARITAL SEX I WAS ALSO HAVING PREMARITAL SEX BUT IN A COOL WIZARD TOWER