Oof
Wile E. Coyote simulator
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@do-nutella
Oof
Wile E. Coyote simulator

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my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:
he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year
Chaotic good
NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!
this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work
malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism
Always reblog for malicious compliance
Theory Time
The reason endermen don’t like it when you look at them is because they communicate telepathically with one another by locking eyes! Humans are absolutely not designed to do this so when we look at them we are accidentally projecting all of our thoughts into them at the same time and it hurts :(
But like, since the player is not of the Minecraft world, the player is just what the use to explore it, what if it’s like:
Enderman: *looks at player’s eyes*
Player: 01010010 01100001 00100000 01110010 01100001 00100000 01010010 01100001 01110011 01110000 01110101 01110100 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010010 01110101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110001 01110101 01100101 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01101101 01100001 01101110
Enderman: oh ok *attacks player*
This kills me every single fucking time
I don’t even play Minecraft but this is hilarious
when you’re possessed by the devil but you still a ho
Fuck gravity
What don’t have what now
Bees don’t have lungs
you can’t just not have lungs
Evidently you can, provided you’re a bee
Noah fence but everyone in the comments is wrong…smoke alerts bees to impending danger so they go into the hives to collect as much honey as they can in case their home suddenly catches fire…it does not “calm them down”, if anything it makes them more alert as they’re ready to leave at any moment. it does not “knock them out”, what evolutionary process do you think would favor an animal that passes out at the slightest hint of smoke rather than escaping? beekeepers use smoke bc it distracts the bees so they become more concerned with getting ready to escape than they are with someone raiding their hive

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Ghost Pokemon Jack-o-lanterns made by Johwee
I saw this tiktok on twitter and I just had to 😂
this is so much more well animated than is called for
Fat fuck friday
The fact that people are baffled by this is so funny
Fat fuck friday 2 weeks later.... still fat.
“What happens when you have heated tile flooring”
(via)

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the horse really is in the hospital now
Once in college, at 3 AM, I couldnt get my printer to print out my assignment that was due at 9 AM, so I emailed my professor with "i am sleeping beauty and some day my prints will come. In the mean time here is an electronic copy"
And she emailed me back in like 5 minutes telling me she'd laughed so hard she startled her dog awake
i am indifferent towards your shoelaces
thanks. i obtained them through entirely legal means wholly unrelated to any country's head of state
protect the children
...do they not know? Do they not understand the ancient texts?
The old ways are not taught to the younger generations, they are left to be forgotten along with the tragedies of the past.

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Las leyes de la física son inquebrantables.
Guillermo Del Toro’s brother out in the wild
I had to come back after thinking about it for a minute