Dling It

You can detox from social media and still use tumblr the same way some people can be sober and still smoke weed you just have to use it therapeutically

I just want to see dudes in their undies.

Forbidden nesquik 

why in God’s name was it necessary for so many people to clarify that a dirty bag of blood from the gardening section isn’t safe to eat like what fucked up tumblr subculture has my shitpost reached

Clearly you haven plant food before

Put it on the back burner. Be grand.

being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit

Now this is a hamless prank.

OMFg IM KATHY

HOW I LOVE IT

i love how everyone has a coworker they immediately call. everyone has that one friend who would save you from the headless customer.

Who names their character Susan

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.

As you do

when i say “i don’t like drama” what i really mean is “i don’t want to have my own drama.” your drama, on the other hand,  

knuckle tattoos that say ROSE MARY but what you don't know is that it's only one word of a much larger tattoo detailing a recipe for garlic and herb roasted potatoes

PAY BACK

LMAOOOOOOOOOO