every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

clicking not interested on something used to mean they stopped showing it to you

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

Put fandom for the first fic you posted online and the year your posted it in the tags.

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

companies will be like "we put real food in the food this time" and expect you to clap

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain

taking antidepressants and listening to nine inch nails so the effects cancel out and my libido comes out perfectly normal