DivineSpanking

you ever notice how covid cases have spiked since the cock destroyers split up? can’t be a coincidence 

since the what

i respect ppl who think frodo & sam were sucking & fucking constantly when the narrator wasn't looking. but personally i think the furthest they went was an awkward attempt at mutual handjobs one night in mordor which started as sam trying to do something anything that'd make frodo feel good & frodo insisted on doing it for sam too & sam closed his eyes & tried to imagine it was rosie cotton while frodo tried to remember the shire or focus on the texture of sam's rough hand or the unyielding heat in his own grip or think about anything other than the great burning wheel & neither of them succeeded. & frodo never got fully hard & eventually pushed sam's hand away but kept going & sam felt like he had failed & part of him wanted to push frodo's hand away too but instead he came harder than he had ever in his life & they never talked about it again

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

rodney dangerfield's wife sounds really mean... why would you do all that to him