safe from emails

Happy Pride

Oh, to be granted the power to speak to animals for just like 38 seconds, so that I could tell this pebble-brained feathery fuckass that nobody is impressed that he started singing earlier than anybody else. There's no bird pussy available at 2 am. The dames can sense your desperation. Stop screaming for at least three more hours.

a single white claw surge got me feeling like that one drunk ed sheeran pic

When I was in highschool back in 2018, all the graduating seniors got a poll to fill out for various preferences on our graduation. The only thing I actually remember from it, though, was the different options for what song would be played at the ceremony. When I saw halfway down the list that "All Star" by Smashmouth was an option, I knew that whatever I chose would be a pointless vote (this was peak Shrek meme era). So of course I went with the herd and chose the Shrek song. When graduation rolled around, everyone was giggling about it, waiting for it to be played as we all walked down to grab our diplomas or whatever. However, that is not what occurred. God, they could have not done it worse. I shit you not, I absolutely fucking shit you not when I say this. I swear on my mother's and first born's life that they brought out the poor, poor fucking choir kids to fucking acapella (badly because that choir teacher had a hard on for opera) All Star. Oh my god. I still don't even know what to say

you may think misogyny is good because it is made up of miso, which is delicious, and gyny, which is woman. and girl miso sounds great. but 👆 it is not girl miso

will you ever forgive me

jesus christ did i fucking kill them im sorry

you may think homicide is good because it is made up of homo, which is gay, and cider, which is delicious. And gay cider sounds great. but 👆 it is not gay cider

disco elysium dialogue tree

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes