I don't understand, why do you want me to make a t

Give me Colin Mochrie as Moriarty. A very exasperated Moriarty, that this comedy giraffe keeps foiling his plans.

this is genius

I would marry this woman and lovingly watch her berate her cows for the rest of my life

Why is amazon treating its employees like teachers treat students

Because infantilizing your underpaid workers is the best strategy to instill feelings of inferiority and fear, while also encouraging them to want to please middle managers for better treatment while not actually improving their situation at all. Its very effective.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Company_scrip

Everybody needs to take a good, hard look at the history of West Virginia, so they can understand just how badly companies will sink their claws into your life, and how to stop them from doing it again.

We are really gonna replay the 1920s all over again

expected Boomer joke, pleasantly surprised

i would die for grinch.

I’ve probably shared this before, but..

You are a devout Paladin trying to prevent the resurrection of a dark goddess. Ultimately you fail. When the goddess awakens, she claims that she doesn’t know who she is or what has happened. After a few days you’re struggling to determine if she actually has amnesia or if she is just lying.

Waste their time.

i’m gonna die laughing at this and i want it on my fucking gravestone

holy shit it’s a life insurance and pensions company

I assumed it was a historical drama about the Scottish nobility and now I’m very disappointed I can’t illegally download and watch it. 

Scottish Widows: We’re Recruiting

once my brother was in a disney store and he saw a child pick up a  mickey mouse toy and  his thing is he does voices  so he said “oh my god put me down”  in a mickey mouse voice and the kid  threw it across the store and  then he had to run away from the store like   “What have i done”

there’s a sesame street themed section of  seaworld and he would go behind the mascots there  and do the character’s voices and then watch the mascots panic because they’re not supposed to speak in costume 

this man is now a father

This is the only valid guy