Certified Mom Friend™

This is what it feels like to be in training at a new job

shes only your girl because she hasnt heard my kermit thee frog impression yet

and she never will. *hits you with my bus*

😂❤️⭐️

One of the most warmly human things I’ve ever seen was an old parchment from the Irish middle ages, the scribe’s cat had walked across the page and left inky pawprints on the page. 

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.

Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.

And I’m so fucking lucky, and I don’t always say it or even think it. Because I have friends who send me letters and who told me when the cafeteria at work had chopped tomatoes and who want to watch Scream with me and it just hits me sometimes that this world can do the ugliest things to people, but as long as I still have a friend who will point out dogs on the sidewalks to me then I have something amazing to live for. And as long as I have pals who I want to make peppermint bark for, then I have a reason to keep pushing this world to be better.

*travels back in time wearing purple clothing to flex on everyone and promptly gets arrested for breaking sumptuary laws*

that is exactly the poem that inspired me and i was going to make it my caption before i went for a meme instead. thank you.

I am sending this to all my friends gaud.

I submitted it to my english teacher (our assignment was to find a well written work to share on the internet)

…I am absolutely frothing at the mouth to know your teacher’s response please

this was beyond my wildest dreams actually much thanks

I’m dying I was not prepared for this

hey I just wanted to mention the fact that this was a catholic school. just in case this wasn’t wild enough already. the disciplinary officer was a fucking nun

i am now feral. i have gone feral. i am leaning a little pile of stick again a tree, soon i will nap beneath them, they will collapse on me during the next rainstorm

I’m sorry.  Getting a nun to read THE Tony the Tiger x Grinch Fanfic is the best thing ever.  This person wins at life.  Game over.  We have all lost to the person who got a nun to read that fic.

A NUN WAS FORCED TO READ MY CRACK FIC I AM A BROKEN BEING

joy? JOY you say???? ma'am, this is HYSTERIA

This whole thread was a ride.

How is the world getting better and worse at the same time