Luke was making a mental list of everything there was to do in Stars Hollow that could keep Jess occupied and distracted. He took him to the arcade, where he popped a few quarters into the Ms. Pac Man machine. Jess was too small to reach the controls, so Luke had to hold him up to the screen. Being a toddler, of course, he was more interested in mashing the buttons with his little hands and wiggling the joystick controller over the arcade game.
Of course. I could have saved myself a dollar.
He took Jess to the pizzeria, where the waitress was so enamored with Jess and Luke that she gave Luke her phone number.
"Thanks kid," Luke chuckled and mussed Jess' hair. "Keep working that charm."
They say a guy should get a dog to pick up chicks, but this seems to work pretty well too.
Everywhere Luke and Jess went, it seemed like Jess earned everyone's adoration.
"I bet that even when you're a teenager, Jess, everyone in this town will still think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. Which Kirk claims to have invented when he was 7 years old."
They went to the playground, where a little boy named Chuck Presby tried to kick over Jess' sandcastle. Jess tried to smack Chuck in the face with his plastic shovel. Luke tried to intervene. Then Chuck Presby's mother appeared, red faced and screaming angrily at Luke about his delinquent son.
"Lady, your little bastard started it!," Luke protested. "He kicked over my nephew's castle!"
"My Chuckie? He would never do such a thing," she huffed.
I didn't hear you dispute my saying he's a little bastard, lady.
Jess and Chuck continued their shovel fight until both boys were forcefully pulled apart and Chuck left with his mother. Jess erupted into tears and Luke spent the next 15 minutes trying to console him. A snow cone from the Ice cream truck eventually calmed him down.
24 hours ago, I didn't think I could put "refereeing a toddler sandbox brawl" on my resume.
"Don't waste your time on shitty little kids like Chuck Presby, Jess.," Luke advised. "They always get what's coming to them. Eventually."
He took Jess to the post office, a mundane task that proved thrilling for a 2 year old, where the clerk fussed over him and gave him stickers. At the bank, the teller gave him a handful of lollipops. He was collecting treats at each location like it was Halloween, just by being so cute.
They visited Miss Patty's and watched the dancers rehearse Swan Lake. They visited the statue of Greg McGroot. Legend had it, that one day in 1977, Greg putted a hole in one at the defunct Stars Hollow Putt Putt Golf, while standing on his head. Allegedly. This was of course, a statue that was paid for with funds from the town treasury. Jess wasn't terribly interested, but Luke had to pull him away from a much more fascinating anthill that had formed at Greg's feet.
They visited the pond and sat on the old Muddy River bridge. Luke taught Jess how to skip stones on the water (but to keep their distance from the swans) and told him fishing stories from his childhood. Luke watched Jess splash happy and carefree on the edge of the pond.
He still hasn't asked where his mother is today.
If I send him back to Liz, he will never experience this kind of joy again.
I have to fight for this kid.
"I'm running out of places to take you in this lame little town kiddo. There isn't too much we haven't seen yet."
A few moments later, a light bulb went off in Luke's head.
"Scratch that. I know one more place we can go."
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