regular human being

if I had a plasma pistol you wouldn't hear from me ever again. i would crouch behind highway guardrails and shoot fully charged shots at teslas passing by me

It’s ok to post this

I need a polite way to email multiple people in a business environment that says, "Are you having an AI chat write your email replies? Because these are incoherent sentences and if it's a chatbot, I need you to stop."

I'm not trying to accuse anyone of communicating like an angry toddler with zero sense of object permanence, but I have received an awful lot of communications which ask for help with "it" while not specifying what "it" is, or asking me to send something while telling me they have it in the same sentence.

there is this thing called a "kitty cat". and you can get one for inside your home, and it will sit on all of your surfaces, and you can pet it.

The straight woman is unsatisfied with straight studio porn. She wants to get off to something in which the actors actually emote and show passion beyond canned moans from the women and, at best, vacant grunts from the men. She turns to gay porn. She knows it's not "for her," but neither was the straight porn, and at least the actors look like they're enjoying themselves. And for a short while she is satiated by Sean Cody et al, but she runs into the same problems she had to begin with. She was not looking at sex but a simulacrum of sex, trapped in Plato's cave. Unsatisfied, she turned to vintage gay porn, harkening to a time when most gay bars still had darkrooms and reliably smelled of piss and Amyl Nitrite. Here was the real thing, in all its animalistic passion. But she still couldn't immerse herself in the fantasy. She wanted the media to engage with her own imagination and meet her half-way, rather than having it spoonfed to her onscreen. She turned to yaoi, with its elongated figures reminiscent of mannerist portraiture, then bara, including hardcore BDSM scenes. But the tactile sensations depicted in the pages didn't do justice to their real life counterparts. She turned deeper into her own imagination, this time reading erotica. No, not the poolside paperbacks sold at Barnes and Noble. The good shit. Why then, was she still not satisfied? She dug deeper, searching for the true meaning of eroticism. She studied the psychoanalysis of Freud, the cultural criticism of Susan Sontag the feminist poetry of Audre Lorde. She took vacation time and flew to Europe, starting at the caves of Lascaux to explore the human urge to create, then traversed the Camino de Santiago on foot, along the way meeting a 56 year old carpenter from Burgos named Andrés, with whom she had an explosive affair. They both knew it couldn't last, which made them cherish each other's touch all the more. Upon flying home, she gave up. If her search for true eroticism never bore fruit this whole time, why would it now? It would take years before she stumbled upon the answer by pure happenstance: dubstep.

My hottest fanfiction take is I think people should stop posting multi-fandom oneshots as a single fic with like 50+ chapters and instead post them as individual fics

when u plug a phone into a computer the comupter always charges the phone even if she has less charge than the phone bc the computer thinks that due to her size she always needs to provide for those smaller than her even when it hurts her more than it helps others. btw

killing all of those ai chat ads that are sporing themselves across tumblr with a maelstrom or rocks. Fuck you and fuck your product. I do not want to replace my mutual with ai chat. I do not want to simulate my cats inner monologue with ai chat. I do not want to talk to my blorbos with ai chat. Fuck your and fuck your product.

"In America, people ask 'Do the Ferengi represent Jews?' In England, they ask 'Do the Ferengi represent the Irish?' In Australia, they ask if the Ferengi represent the Chinese. The Ferengi represent the outcast... it's the person who lives among us that we don't fully understand. Our program was about investigating the essence of people, not the outside. They forgave me though I stole. (points to Michael Dorn) They forgave him, though he killed. (points to Nana Visitor) They forgave her though she was a terrorist. Starships do not make Star Trek, hope makes Star Trek." — Armin Shimerman

”with shapes.inc you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.