USB Rat King

sob emoji is up there with the period and the comma

me talking to a drummer: these metal discs you hit… fascinating. i adore the one which resembles a clam.

thats the wrong image

I usually hate seeing people being stiffed for their labor but I think it’s very funny ICE agents have not been getting their $50k sign on bonus, many are still waiting for their healthcare benefits to kick in and some are complaining they haven’t been getting their paychecks. You sold your soul to the Exploiting and Abusing People Agency and they started exploiting you too? Wow. Crazy.

I heard if they lose their job for any reason within 5 years (likely) they have to pay back the $50k in full. Like before taxes 🤭

They don't even get $50k. They get a sign-on bonus of $10k and then $10k/year after that. And that money is taxed really harshly. Like, the IRS yanks at least a couple thousand out of it.

Your account was hacjed and the only way to get the password back is to give me your password olease

wait fuck that doesn't even make any sense

im so fucking sorry

T-shirt that says "I'M SORRY FOR THE PERSON I BECOME WHEN I'M OVERHEATED"

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

*looking in the mirror* You are not morrissey. You are a friendly, charming, driven young woman. Not morrissey. Do not think, "I am morrissey"

it's fine i don't even need to be part of social groups or friend groups anyway (giant hole appears in my chest spontaneously) ? what's that

all women should be more hairy and sweaty and eat more food and laugh more loudly. my stance as a feminist and also my stance as a lesbian pervert