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@dinkelberry
Clawing at you | source

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jellyfish babies
"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted
I love how every single Georg post observes the original's typo
i like that you said "observe" instead of "preserve," implying this has religious importance.
religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women
everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is
.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288
.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter
'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

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they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives
In a shit mood. Release the locusts
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
i eat your grandads clothes
Macklemoth
Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Whyโd you gotta squeal, Squealinโ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big Bossโฆ
Guy tied up in chair: uhโฆtheres just one guy over there.
Mafia boss: Yeah. Thatโs Lilโ Tony. Heโs got one of dem conditions where heโs got multiple mooks nโ his head. But when Big Tony fronts youโre gonna be in big trouble.
Lilโ Tony: We actually all agree weโre gonna kick your ass.
it's not frequent enough to be considered a meme or a trend, but I like how every so often this site gets a new "woke mafia boss" variation.

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I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.
if you go from biology to physics without dying first you donโt go to heaven the uber driver went over this already
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it
this site is gonna get deleted tonight. supposed to be secret. but now you know.
what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk
about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you
I really need to start reading the blog name because I thought I was having some sort of moment right there.
starting a collection

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there should be a jesus on the cross emoji. not for any religious reasons. just so I can use it for every slight inconvenience.
who is scott free and why are so many people getting him off