Dilly is a Willy

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

nut loaf

Bitch i thought that was rocks!

thats not bread that’s a core sample from a beach

That’s conk creat babey!!!!!!!!!!

its gonna be a sexy sexy night once i figure out how to survive point blank shotgun blasts

you can hit it raw, i’ve got an IED

call me captain ahab how I moby on his dick til he whales

The woke mob has made Santa gay! Mrs Claus has been replaced with a 5'8 twink named Tony Tinsel

rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

He was a cat that smoked a whole bong

this is a gorgeous painting and I love it very genuinely but I’m also begging someone to edit “are you nasty?” onto those little bitty short shorts

you are my only anchor in these trying times

the fairy on my windshield as i go down i95 at 210km/h

did you have to hit them with their cock out? 😕

hate coming to terms with things. i should be able to cast a fireball instead

me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

we are the daughters of the parents who had sex and got pregnant

When the world is cruel and unwelcoming, press ZL to turn into a squid

I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up