~Mysteries of the Sea~

people who say “I block for spam liking” like damn sorry that you hate joy. Every time someone goes through and likes 3829278 posts on my blog I’m filled with a love and power that you will never know and I pity you

something ive learned is when you become an adult most of your peers dont give a shit about your more peculiar traits and sometimes they actually like these traits. like yeah i was bullied as a kid for bringing a plushie to school but in my 20s everyone thinks its fine in fact people love my epic scolipede

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

i’ve never seen a mouse that looks so much like a mouse before

She looks like she belongs on the cover of a beloved illustrated children’s book 🥺

tell me

fish is too pure <3

normal guy who transitions into a different, equally normal guy

guy who changes his name from robert to tom

I’m frothing at the mouth this is my DREAM

#as a professional carnie i gotta say#wlw have a special inate ability at these games i swear to god#there used to be some kind of year#yearly retreat for?? idk what but it was made of almost entirely butch women#and there would be like a whole day the part was just overrun by gay ladies#and when the catering hall let their party out they all wanted nothing more than clean fucking house for their gifriends and wivesa#we all knew it was coming. wed all be like todays the lesbian day guys get everything stocked#and this isnt like the o be weird or something abt butch women being strong or athletic#i mean they would win games of chance way more often than straight couples#gay dudes do not factor in cuz we all suck balls at those games literally they were all awful#one very out gay coworker i had would openly tell them like look from one of us to another keep walking these arent for us they just arent#but girls? girls dating other girls? it was on sight they all won all the time (via @transkeiichi)

"Today's the lesbian day guys get everything stocked" is sending me

One time I was DMing a campaign where the players walked into that tavern every campaign has and one of the patrons was a Mindflayer wearing a very bad human disguise who insisted his name was Johnald Humanman. And they were just like "Oh, okay. Well, that's his business" and didn't interact with Johnald Humanman at all.

wheres the gif of the guy on fire but then he eats a watermelon and hes fine

this is what summertime is like