kill your heroes

Sorry to kill whatever twisted fantasies you already have swirling around in your brain but I save the kinky shit for this guy I like to call my boyfriend.

Woah, there. Look now, you're a fine looking woman but I don't think, we, in a relationship would work. I am a very happy single man. Well, during the day at least.

Wow, look at you. Line after line. Does this method usually help you take women home?

More than you would think. Though, the question is if it's working right now.

There’s only one way for you to find out, right? 

Right. [ takes a bite ] Hmm, it's pretty good.

Cookie?

Uh... Thank you. I'm sure they are delicious.

Oh, can you? Truthfully, I’d have to see it to believe it. Doyle… Yes. Right. Who doesn’t love Doyle?

Hmm, slow down. We just met and you already wanna play dress up? Kinky girl. Right...

I’m not cranky, I’m— Nevermind. I know I tried calling you at least a dozen times, so either you were ignoring me or phone isn’t working - either way, you need to play catchup.There’s been another rape and we think it’s related to the others. Same M.O. Shut up, Barker.

Who's the vic? When did it happen? Are you sure it's a serial? 

I’m like a dinosaur. Hot guys don’t want to cuddle with thirty year old teachers. It’s like a proven fact.

Or maybe they think you're out of their league. I mean you surely are.

No shit. Another real life Sherlock Holmes. Lucky me. I bet you’re glad they upgraded their uniforms because the ugly tweed things they used to have going on… so not flattering on anybody. 

Actually, I can pull that off too. And I do love Doyle.

Around? Well, that’s just explains everything doesn’t it? Why? Because we have a case, Barker, and we need you. You don’t say? That may be because I’m not. 

Why are you so cranky today? What case? Why didn't I get called in? Looks like you're always needing, Barbie.

Well, thanks a lot, dick.

You will gain smarts too. One day, maybe.

Oh, this? Yeah, I'm a detective. 

You’re right, I could do that, but the chances of it actually happening are slim to none. Thanks for the suggestion anyway.

Why is that? A beautiful girl like yours. There should be tons of people lining up to cuddle.

Where in the hell have you been?

I have been... around. Why? You don't look very happy.

I am so over the cold.

Look at the perks though, you can always cuddle.