our crazy adventures in autismland

Our age of strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is collapsing

From now on all characters are only allowed to have brown eyes. No blue or green eyes allowed just beautiful brown eyes for everyone forever

I knew I was getting close to Textile City. I could see their monument, a colossal weaving device, looming in the distance.

add me to your discord server so I can do the online equivalent of arriving at a party saying hi to the people I know then standing awkwardly in the corner for the rest of the night

the baby is problematic for being in the bathwater

Yesterday, I was at dinner with some friends and briefly forgot Harrison Ford’s name, but I was like, “His name is a president and a car,” which is how we got such acceptable alternatives as McKinley Camry, Van Buren Gremlin, Clinton Infinity, and Range Rover Cleveland.

Lincoln Lincoln

can't read mlm fiction where they cheat on their wives/gfs bc the wanting to bludgeon both men to death gets in the way but i eat it up when lesbians use & betray the men in their lives #mydoublestandard

dr frankenstein was one of the first to invent a guy to be mad about

"please just be a normal dark world" while stabbing the earth in ur deadbeat dad's attic. the attic that he keeps flowers in

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror