Welcome to our askblog for people to infodump about demonized topics - for example NPD or DID. Also a place for people to share general information, rambles, advice and kindness.
You can share the socially unacceptable sides of your disorders, infodump about your 'creepy' special interests, ramble about the interesting parts of your disorders, or just share positivity and community with those like you.
We accept those who self diagnose, those who are undiagnosed, and those who are professionally diagnosed.
Please write what disorders you want us to tag your post with.
Run by @the-hydra-sys.
If you want commentary on the content of your ask, please specify, otherwise we will not comment.
Fuck off if you:
- Shame or harass others for what they cannot control.
- Believe that some disorders or people are inherently 'evil'.
- Spread misinformation.
Pro-Endogenics, you are welcome as long as you respect that this is a traumagenic-only space.
Tags & claimed signoffs below the cut.
Feel free to request a tag about a specific disorder or topic!
#demonized infodumps - All infodumps relating to a disorder.
#demonized positivity - All positivity.
#demonized community - All community-based posts.
#demonized interests - All posts about special interests.
#demonized asks - Anything and everything that goes in our inbox - this will be the majority of posts.
#demonized support - Fundraisers, support, advice, etc.
#demonized rambles - Rambles.
#did you say OSDDID - Posts about systems/systemhood.
#did you say OCD - Posts about obsessive compulsive disorder.
#did you say NPD - Posts about narcissistic personality disorder.
#did you say BPD - Posts about borderline personality disorder.
#did you say HPD - Posts about histrionic personality disorder.
#did you say ASPD - Posts about antisocial personality disorder.
#did you say bipolar - Posts about bipolar disorder.
#did you say schizophrenia - Posts about schizophrenia.
#did you say depression - Posts about depression.
#did you say anxiety - Posts about anxiety. (Any/all types.)
#did you say ADHD - Posts about ADHD.
#did you say autism - Posts about autism.
#did you say imperfect recovery - Posts about unhealthy coping mechanisms and the 'dark' side of trauma + recovery.
#did you say hypersexual - Posts about hyperseuxality (as a trauma response.)
#did you say RAD - Posts about reactive attachment disorder.
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i have bpd and npd. this guy i'm in a kind of situationship with keeps talking about his ex and it PISSES me off like nothing else. i'm so much better than that fucking freak why would you even bring him up oh my god. we aren't even dating and i'm so ridiculously jealous it makes me unbelieveably angry
i get jealous over my friends too so this isn't totally shocking. bpd and npd is a horror combo that i suppress but im constantly so pissed off all the time. why even spend time with someone else when you have ME?? charity work or what? back to the guy it's like holy shit dude. please read the room why even bring him up when you have me
he's been getting drier too and its just. i cant do it bro. he says im better than him but im about to gun someone DOWN if he doesnt stop talking about him. i hate feeling this way because i know if i express it i'll be the evil manipulative bpd stereotype. not once have i ever been able to be honest about it and it sucks. i say he won't stop bringing him up but it's only really been 3 times but jesus fucking christ just shut up
I feel so embarrassed because all my friends make metal health jokes and stuff but I have voices in my head and they won't laugh about that with me they just think im crazy and I hate it
We have a very vast understanding of how the world works. How everything fits together - physical, spiritual, supernatural - it's all mapped out in our mind and everything we learn about the world is easily slotted into this system.
We will never be able to explain this to anyone.
Not only is it near impossible to explain to people who don't already understand the basics. Who can't already comprehend reality on the same level as we can.
But the only people who can are also the people who would be the most negatively affected by learning about it [ Other people with dissociation / delusions ]
So we're always stuck between desperately wanting to share our findings with the world, and worrying about the ripple effects it could have on others [ and the world as a whole ]
Feels like being an abandoned god whose religion has been lost to the winds of time, waiting and hoping for someone curious enough to decipher what's been left behind.
[ Could we have 'Lost Gods' anon, please ? This is a lovely place to read through, we may come to rest here again ]
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
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I've had an okay handle on my intrusive thoughts for a while but the STUPID sexual intrusive thoughts keep coming back and they're so hard to "let pass by". And I feel like I can't tell anyone that I have intrusive thoughts about. like.
"getting out of the shower with a towel on is trying to seduce your father" or "you looked at someone's baby picture and you saw their genitals, you're a pedophile. or if you purposely avoided looking at them, it's because you can't control yourself and you KNOW you're evil." or not being able to masturbate because my brain thinks it's incestuous to do that in the same house as my sister.
Its all well and good saying systems aren't evil, or bad, or messed up, that's true, but I hate it when they act as if we're all innocent babies. I'm not. I don't like myself for it but I'm an alter within a system and I nearly ruined someone's life just to protect us because THAT'S MY JOB. idc if it was bad of me. Well, I do but like I don't feel remorse. Wouldn't do it again but still.
And I'm not even the only one on the system who's like... "wrong". Loads of us are, I neither can nor want to list them here. But like... One of us is a frequent fronter but he's a paraphiliac and he can't goddamn help it that his whole purpose is to hold that issue for us, but nooo, he's not allowed to talk because he's "evil" and "it's bad for our image" FUCK OFF! he's allowed to exist and so am I and so are ALL OF US.
Way to make it worse yk?
- π
- π₯π§· <- hope you don't mind if we claim this one as an anon tag? It's ok if not
i'm so sick of having somnophilia. not that i think im better or more moral than anyone but my somnophilia developed from rape. i cant experience sexual pleasure unless i think about being fucked in my sleep or doing it to someone else. i'd never do it to someone, i'd never offend, but i feel so disgusting. i just want to be normal, and, i hate that its a more 'acceptable' para. i dont want to be more demonized but i hate seeing people say somnophilia isn't a harmful para, im an example of the harm.
i fear looking for a DID diagnosis has been so traumatic that im giving up.
i know ill get fakeclaimed more often for not wanting a diagnosis or that people will see me as fake for being undiagnosed but atp i don't care. i don't wanna see a psychiatrist, psychologist or neurologist ever again. they have only done harm.
I hate my IRL. I really do. I didnt want to wake up one day and be them. There's nothing inherently wrong about them, I just didnt have any attachment to them and suddenly I did, suddenly everything about me NEEDS to be them, because thats ME, I didnt want it to happen it just did, and now im scared to talk about it in places because of one single experience that threw me out of equilibrium. I didnt ask to suddenly gain a character delusion that makes me ticked off more easily, I really didnt. Do I need to be punished for that, though? Do I need to be ostracized for that when I wasnt even being violent towards anyone? I hate having so many disorders, I really do.
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I cant stand my own character delusions/irls and even then people still demonize me for it. I dont have any issues with 'doubles' and im fighting so hard to get medication for my schizophrenia/schizospec but it just doesnt matter apparently. No matter how much I agree with people's complaints about irl's ill still be demonized. The existence of my character delusion, which is quite literally just the existence of a form of psychosis, should not inherently be making people uncomfortable. Every single other delusion is marked as fine, so why is it that the second the delusion involves a fictional dude who isnt even problematic its suddenly a problem and im "too mentally unwell to be in certain spaces".
All I did was turn into this other dude one day. Why is that a problem for you. Why do you feel the need to stress me out about it more than I already was what did I do to deserve it. Thats literally such a harmless delusion compared to the other shit I gotta go through so why THAT specifically.
βIβm so deluluβ motherfuckers when I genuinely believe im not real and thereβs eyes in my skin and I have to tear open my own skin to get them out
i have zoophilic disorder. i know im not gonna offend so realistically this shouldnt be as much of an issue. but some part of me still has all these violent feelings directed toward myself about it. it feels like, they should just lock me up already. shoot me in the head like they publicly fantasize about all the time. muzzle me and declaw me like some fucking cat, rip out my teeth and my genitals i feel like i fucking deserve it for having these thoughts
short lil rant but me trying to articulate my dissociative/schizo symptoms to my mother as a child and her going "either you're taking for attention or need to be in the psych ward" ooohhh okay im being threatened with implied violence
and she wonders why i don't tell her anything as an adult
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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i do actually consider myself an "evil" alter despite it being a negative stereotype. i have a lot of nasty thoughts and i can be pretty crude and blunt. that's kind of just my whole purpose and character and my entire reason for existing is just that.
I don't know if it's just me, but as someone with ASPD I don't really care about acceptance or positivity. All these posts like "omagad you're SO totally not evil and morally okay!!!" make me roll my eyes because I AM evil and I don't really give a shit that I'm evil. Do you seriously think that someone who perceives others as almost non-existent will care about how others stigmatize me? Do you seriously think that someone who doesn't care about morals (and, quite frankly, doesn't understand them) will care about what's evil or not? Please, give it to cluster B folks who actually depend on external validation because my ASPD makes me not care about anything external unless I have power and control over it.
