#hypersexuality

I am hypersex someimes, I’m not sure if trauma, mental illness or something else entirely, but I often feel odd abt calling it that bc most of the ‘sex’ I’ve had and still have is online: sexting, dirty talking, trading/sharing nudes, sometimes phone sex.

I guess my question would be if this falls into hypersexuality or not really? Would masturbation and watching porn? How do u measure when it’s hypersex and when it’s just “normal”?

Here is part of our post on hypersexuality that might help:

Hypersexuality is defined as a preoccupation with and impulsive acts around sex. To be considered hypersexuality, it must cause discomfort or dysfunction for the person experiencing it.

Hypersexuality is not the opposite of asexuality (a sexual orientation). Hypersexuality is not sexuality; you can have any sexual orientation and experience hypersexuality. Sex repulsion would be the correlating mental health experience. Though they are not at odds as you can experience them together and in patterns.

Hypersexuality comprises some or all of the following:

Intrusive sexual thoughts

Obsessive thoughts of sex/sexual experiences

Violent thoughts

Ruminating on sex

An intense need to act on sexual thoughts. Ex: compulsive masturbation and/or sex,

Patterns of unhealthy sexual behaviour: Ex: Unsafe sex, digital sexual relationships with unsafe people, compulsive usage of pornography

Other symptoms/behaviours are often connected to hypersexuality

People with hypersexuality often experience obsessions around sexuality that they do not want to act on. These obsessive thought patterns can cause fantasies. Sometimes its interruptive thoughts of general sex, but can include sexual violence or sex with people you would never want to act sexually with (abusers or family members). The person experiencing it gets stuck ruminating on this topic and can’t break out of it.

Another common part is intrusive thoughts. These are unwanted thoughts that break into the person’s mind in a way that feels unwanted and often overwhelming. This is not hearing voices, and it isn’t the same as a song stuck in your head or being distractible. These thoughts can include images of the things thought of. These thoughts are can be linked to obsessions and compulsive behaviour.

Compulsive and impulsive sexual behaviour is another common experience. These behaviours can range from masturbation, porn usage, or sex with a partner. There can be many dangerous and unhealthy behaviours that come out of compulsion. 

Masturbating to the point it interferes with normal life and/or is physically damaging the body

Unsafe partner sex, including not testing for STIs, not using protection, and sex acts that cause physical damage

Using porn that interferes with life or porn that can hurt others

Digital interactions that interfere with normal relationships or are psychologically damaging

Engaging in toxic or abusive relationships

(Symptoms Explainer: What is Hypersexuality?)

So digital sexual interactions, porn usage and masturbation can all be part of hypersexuality.

It's hypersexuality when the impulsive sexual acts, compulsions, intrusive thoughts or ruminations (any of them you don't need all) cause you upset by causing either internal mental distress, damaging your safety, interfering with your ability to function in your normal life (IE relationalships or school/jobs) or any combination of them.

So it's "normal" as long as you're safe, happy and functioning in a way that is advantageous for you. When it starts to damage any of that, then it's worth looking into if there is a way you can start to change and heal your relationship to sex. Which I'm positive you can, because you're already seeking out information, which is so brave!!

Be Blessed,

I don't want this responsibility - Jazmin bean

I hate that I still feel it

I hate that I still see it