It's me, trash

im sorry but when you grow up and interact with people irl youre gonna have friends where you dont fw their tastes. sometimes youre gonna meet someone chill whos also a hazbin hotel fan or have a really nice coworker that likes taylor swift and youre gonna need to mind your business and shut the fuck up or youre gonna be real lonely

yknow, if I can be real & autistic for a second, the idea that jokes stop being funny once you explain them has never made sense to me. like yeah I... guess... but like also. no. idk man I think it depends

there are so many jokes that when explained get funnier, I just cannot fathom thinking that all jokes fall under the umbrella of "unfunny once explained". lowkey feels like such an excuse to just not explain shit to me when I ask. girl I dont understand EXPLAIN

if it wasn’t for some kind of brain disease, we would all have forgotten this punchline. everyone say thank you some kind of brain disease

if I get murdered or something and there's a documentary about it and people talk about how I used to "light up the room" know that they are lying. I have never lit up a room. I don't even like turning lights on. I probably enjoyed being murdered too

You'd have so much latitude to mess with people if you were a sorcerously animated skeleton. Space aliens have biology, and robots are least presumably beholden to physics, but skeletons are pure bullshit. Nobody would have the slightest intuition about your whole deal to fall back on, so you could claim it works however you want.

one time I showed this to my husband and we both laughed so hard he legitimately thought there was some sort of gas leak

kermit and scooter riffing on how their physicality doesn't let them open the envelope to announce the winner. the audience immediately cracking up when it cuts to statler and waldorf because they know what the bit is gonna be. jim henson slipping into the kermit voice accidentally before bouncing back at record speed and riffing on it. richard hunt genuinely laughing at jim's joke but doing so in-character. prime muppets was something else man

did you seriously just allocate skill points mid conversation...? thats so rude...

okay well you've been save scumming this whole date so like....

*loads back to before you noticed*

in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold

it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again

oh god fucking damn it

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

Underground french cinema

A little update! My little bro is now my little sister. Please don't misgender her :)