Vaguely Coherent

Bitches!!! Several co-workers and I all just left a very unhealthy job (at least 5 of us all left lol). I sent your article ‘The Resignation Checklist’ around to everyone before we did. This is a message my co-worker sent me- she went over the checklist and realized she had PTO that wouldn’t have paid out and used it before she left!!! I used the checklist myself and before I left: quit at the beginning of the month to get an extra month of insurance, am going for a physical and dental cleaning, went and got an eye exam and new glasses through my vision insurance, made sure my 401k was vested, and redeemed some company rewards points for a gift card! I especially would never have thought about new glasses without your list and am so excited for them. Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you and that your article was a hit with my work friends- thank you!!! <3

OH HONEY!!!! Damn this brings tears to our eyes. We're so thrilled for you and your coworkers!!! It's a huge honor to know that we helped you guys out in your quitting journey.

For everyone who still needs it, here's our resignation checklist:

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

And GLaDOS interjects like, "You didn't do this. She did all the work!"

I find that interjection fascinating because. Like.

GLaDOS doesn't actually know anything about what happened behind the scenes. She lost track of Chell and Wheatley after Wheatley opened up a wall panel and they bolted off together into the facility's inner workings. She doesn't see them again until Chell falls for her fake door trap, at which point GLaDOS is unpleasantly surprised to discover that Chell's disabled the turrets and neurotoxin in the meantime.

She has no evidentiary foundation to base that accusation on.

This is also before GLaDOS recognizes Wheatley as the Dumbass Core, so it's not based on an assessment of him.

The only explanation it leaves is that it's based on her assessment of Chell. Despite GLaDOS's enmity towards Chell, the one thing she rarely goes after Chell for is her intelligence.

When she does, it's an admission of her high standards for Chell; Like when the fake door trap works and GLaDOS concedes, "I didn't actually think that would work. I already built a much better, smarter trap up ahead for when this one fails." That's a backhanded insult. It's calling her dumb, but in a disappointed way rather than an affirming way.

Chell tests very well. Between the two games, GLaDOS has developed a strong understanding of Chell's aptitude for critical thinking and problem-solving in stressful situations.

He then showed me several apps that played music using scores.

I explained to him: 'Your cell phone always plays that Debussy score in exactly the same way. You, on the other hand, with your emotions and flaws, will never play the score the same way twice. You will not play the same way on a sunny day when you have just fallen in love as on a cloudy day when a relative has just died. Music is not just a score - you too are part of the music. Art includes you in the experience; your human imperfections are also part of the work.'"

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

The first locomotive: boiler on a set of wheels with one piston. Crept forward.

Early 19th century: small, able to pull a little bit, good replacement for wagon trains in power. Small boiler, a couple driver wheels, maybe some pilot wheels. Whistle that goes "tweet tweet". A noble beast.

Mid 19th century: able to pull a couple dozen cars with a speed and force unrivaled at that time. We start to see 2-6-0 and 2-6-2 configurations with larger boilers and coal tenders. Whistle screams, sounds excellent on a mountain pass with the echo. A steel thoroughbred.

Late 19th century: Locomotives the size of large buildings. Able to pull several dozen cars. Large boilers with advanced superheaters. Tenders the size of houses. 4-8-4s and 4-10-4s start to come out, making a metric fuckload of power. Whistles now sound like a god yelling. Like no other thing of beauty.

Early 20th century: we've bred them even farther. Able to pull trains miles long through mountains, able to get up to 80mph on flat ground and produce hundreds of thousands of foot-pounds of torque from its drivers. We start to see articulated duplex drivers, giving us things like 4-6-6-4 and 6-8-8-6. Tenders are as long as locomotives now. Starting to move from burning coal to burning heavy fuel oil. Whistle is deafening and low, you can feel it in your chest.

Mid-20th century: scaled down a bit on size with newer technology. Diesel locomotives have come into play. Instead of two or four large steam chests for slow-moving pistons, each has 12-20 pistons in large diesel engine weldments. Now powered by traction motors. All steam locomotives now burn oil. And have steam horns in some weird bastardization. It's unnatural. Whistle or do nothing. It feels artificial.

Late 20th century: it's all diesel. The only steam locomotives are excursion trains and mom-and-pop farm freight railroads. Everything has hard lines and angles. It's all horns. There are no whistles. Locomotives no longer have their own voices. We weep, for we stand in the shadows of giants that we have forsaken.

Early 21st century: locomotives are smooth and sleek. No hard lines. Tube-shaped to go faster. Can't pull much, but it can go fuckin fast. Looks like it has the face of an old-testament angel.