women be shopping. nonbinaries be eating oysters. what do men do

fixating on games is like “oh boy! i haven’t played this in months!” and then you end up playing 60+ hours and never touch it again until the cycle starts up again

It’s always “why did you get in the river” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the river The river looked fun was it fun

Why must we respond to two classmates? Why? Is it not enough that I typed 250 words of my own own bland fucking bullshit without having to say some more bland fumkin bullshumk to a classmate’s equally blund fuhnki bumshulk? “Hi Diane, Love that you and your faceless icon turned up today. I also agree that plagues in history were awful. That’s a really good point Diane thank you.” I’m gonna throw my laptop jesus crisp

It feels like deeply maladaptive that the human body's response to intense hunger is to feel nauseous. Like what was the goal there

you shouldn't have done that....... *grows fangs and claws and also becomes hot*

ppl are getting too comfortable with coming to tumblr i gotta scare em off. like yes its better then twitter but i dont want The Twitter Users to know that what if they come here. we cant have that.

found out today that the "no don't [action] your so sexy aha" meme is, in fact, NOT well known outside of internet circles and you should not just Say That to an unsuspecting coworker

A casual reminder to not put the people in the entertainment you consume on pedestals because at the end of the day each and everyone of them is just a regular, flawed person like the rest of us.

dont be scared cisgenders, i am a normal bus. come closer.

happy pride month

omg i'm so sorry. i'm so fjucking sorry

happy pride <3

incredibly grateful that tumblr doesn’t have a memories feature like every other social media platform because frankly i am terrified to even think about what kind of tomfoolery and hooliganery i was getting into 6 years ago on this website

tumblr’s memories feature is other users, because every once in a while one of you motherfuckers will reblog a post i made in like 2012 and detonate all of my bones like they’re C4