if music be the food of love, sing on! ♡

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

women shoild only eat female animals and men should only eat male animals .

what about non binary people

fuck i don’t know

oysters

Glad I’m genderfluid

We can eat anything we want!

you have to eat oysters

there's this ask that's been sitting in my inbox for months and i simply can bring myself to delete it

I have stopped writing the great american novel to look at tumblr.

we are the daughters of the landmines your grandpa didn't step on

it doesnt make sense that a penis would get bigger if yoiu jerk it off youre literally compressing it. go crumple a can rn and tell me its bigger im not buying this narrative

Okay So .. This is What Casual Misandry Looks Like Everybody

im trying to go pro if anyone has any tips

My kids are still quite young (under school age), and I've been careful to try to make sure they only have kind role models. This has resulted in typical mean language being absent from their vocabulary, such as "you're stupid/ugly/I hate you", but they've started inventing their own ways to be mean lol, such as "you're not my brother anymore, you're a stranger to me now", and hearing that out of a toddler's mouth is so cutting lol

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

absolute cunt serves absolutely

no?

if hunter biden or rupaul tweeted this you'd be all over it

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

if you or a loved one have ever tried looking up discussion of a female fictional character online only to see terms like ‘waifu’ and ‘best girl’ used you may be entitled to financial compensation