The Most Happy

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

The cashier at Whole Foods just treated me like the village idiot because he told me to “look for the three little lines” on the app and i was like “I’m not seeing a hamburger. I see meatballs. Is that it?” And he said “maam you are looking for Three Little Lines”

we have a very healthy victim/abuser relationship, actually, thanks for asking

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

i genuinely don't think there's much, if anything, hotter than someone clearly having a blast doing something they're really good at. doesn't really matter what it is. the combo of competence and joy is absolutely lethal to me

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat