Many more important takeaways from that Neil Gaiman article--first and foremost being he and Amanda Palmer must be held responsible for what they've (ALLEGEDLY...) done so the victims can get some modicum of justice.
But also, as difficult as it is to do, don't idolize anyone. Just don't. Learn from people. But do not idolize them. Learned this from hard personal experience, and now that I'm in my mid-thirties, it's one of the most important things I've ever had to come to terms with. Everyone is human, for better or for worse.
The effect that a great artist had on you still matters, absolutely. But at the same time, boy, howdy, does absolute power corrupt absolutely.
For people like Gaiman and Palmer--who used their facade as progressive, empathetic safe havens for the misfits and the marginalized in order to lure in vulnerable women--they likely genuinely assumed they were beyond reproach or consequence. And even if they felt guilty, they did nothing to stop it. They said nothing.
How much of his friendly, approachable interactions with fans here were actually calculated and predatory? It's just sickening to think about.
Be extraordinarily careful out there, particularly around those with a great deal of power and a great deal of money, a combination that seems to swallow up morality whole, without exception. It's so important to question motives, particularly when there is a large power imbalance in a relationship. If you suspect something like this--even if it isn't as severe--is happening to you, listen to your gut. It's trying to tell you something. You are not overreacting. You are not overly sensitive. You are not weak or bad or incapable or "not cut out" for whatever it is--your gut knows, and it's right. In my experience, it's always, always right. Run as far away as you can, and ask for help.
I've been a fan of Gaiman's for years (although I never could stand Palmer, if I'm being completely honest. Heard stories from folks who worked with her over the years that she was insufferably entitled and arrogant, and I felt like The Art of Asking was off somehow, although I could never exactly put my finger on why I didn't like it when it was first released. Now I think we just get a sense of these things, sometimes, you know? Even if we can't explain it). It's hard to reconcile the beautiful things Gaiman has written with his monstrous actions. Don't know if there's any reconciling it. We could pathologize it until the cows come home, but that would only help us try to work out how someone could contain such violent extremes. It wouldn't do a thing to bring justice to those women.
He meant (and means) a lot to millions of people. He's also (ALLEGEDLY...) a sexual predator. Both are true and it absolutely sucks. It sucks so badly for those women who were pinned into horrible, horrible situations and abuse. It sucks for the hundreds of people working on his productions who are now or will soon be out of a job because of cancelled projects in the wake of this article. It sucks for his son, who was likely privy to abominable things. It just sucks.
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