babs lover

joker: THATS A CHILD

robin: AND THAT’S AN UGLY PIMPLY BITCH !!

joker:

batman:

harley:

assorted goons:

robin: yup, i’m 9… but thank yew. *roundhouse kicks*

link to original vid here: https://youtu.be/m6gb4U_Gsvg?si=ix4bYMAzwlqtJvPt&utm_source=MTQxZ

my brain: …but you’re never gonna get a star wars elseworlds comic run, with bruce as a mandalorian, clark as a jedi, and diana as a nightsister

my confrontational take is that the most non-confrontational, made up ship within dc is alfred/the waynes. that shit is CANON, and everyone i’ve spoken to about it has been on board, despite the fact that we’ve never truly seen these people interact.

why ???? it’s canon

1. alfred, given all his lore™️, decides to willingly live in GOTHAM, and (wait for it) NEW JERSEY, instead of quite literally anywhere else for these people. i am from the uk and i have been to new jersey ONCE. the defining moment for me was that i had to tip 10% on a SELF-CHECKOUT machine. it broke me. it was a paradox. i haven’t returned since.

2. martha and thomas, rich ass people who probably revise their wills on a weekly basis, literally CONSTITUTE that alfred should be bruce’s legal guardian instead of like, idk… family? (understandable given bruce’s extended family but cmon)

3. alfred spends the rest of his life devoted to bruce, and raises that boy AS HIS OWN, despite the fact he literally has a child lol

4. in a way, he feels so guilty for their deaths, that he aids batman. HE WANTS VENGEANCE FOR THEM. HE WANTS THAT TO NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. just like bruce

5. thomas and martha’s grandchildren are his grandchildren

jason, lamenting: ugh, so many REGRETS!

damian: i just wish i could’ve seen bts irl :/

dick: …we could do some of the songs for you

tim: yeah i’m down

damian: really? that’d be great

only dick, off-key: smooth like- c’mon guys

dick, jason and tim, off-key and grappling with their impending doom: smooth like butter… a criminal undercover, um…

*silence*

besides i know bruce was smug as fuck towards talia lmaoooooooo



talia: you don’t understand- he MUST honour his grandfather’s legacy.

2. dc being relentlessly attacked by fox news because they changed superman’s ‘fight for the american way’ motto

• in a historical context, like, i can definitely see that he was made to embody that whole american dream thing. but NOW? idk it’s kind of tired

• what makes me laugh is that these people would probably hate superman in real life

• people like to say that clark kent and by extension his family, are republicans. how guys. HOW. BRO IS AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT.

• ma and pa kent literally were out here committing some kind of fucking immigration fraud, buying a birth certificate off the black market type of deal to explain the existence of their alien son. clearly willing to ride or die

• along with this, they managed to raise an angel of a human being, and never treated him as weird or ‘other’ despite the fact that he’s literally an alien who can fucking fly

• clark himself? well, clearly has extremely left wing views because a) is an immigrant b) grew up working class c) lives in an extremely urban area and d) is an english major. i truly doubt bro would be into fox news

1. dc confirming that canonically, batman does not perform oral sex

• now this… this is a case that doesn’t sit right with me.

• bruce wayne has a reputation for being a flirtatious womanising playboy. so what this means is that a) he’s been pretty bad at sex this whole time (hilarious) or b) he’s a pillow princess. dc both options seemingly cramp the image you’re trying to craft for him my guys

• yknow what’s even fucking funnier. oliver queen canonically does in the comics. take that bruce wayne

4. the movie everything everywhere all at once

3. this album

2. red dead redemption 2

1. frankenstein by mary shelley

do i like all of these ships? NO. tbh i was shocked and appalled by the SELECTION.

1. Superbat - those lisa frank dolphins

2. Batcat - just like, the concept of dress to impress

3. Batjokes - hazbin hotel

4. Dick/Bruce - literally saying ‘what the sigma’

5. Bruce/Jason - the unknown.

6. Riddlebat - “you think you just fell out of a coconut tree? you exist in the context of all in which you live and came before you.”

7. Wonderbat - the chill guy

8. Batlantern - girl, so confusing

9. Brutalia - four seasons baby (damian?)

10. Bruce/Tim - that dude who attacked a judge

*at some kind of justice league christmas party*

barry, about to set a casserole down: ooph! beep beep!

clark, also about to put down a casserole: hahaha, beep beep!

barry, slightly more passive aggressive: ahahahahaha. beep beep. lemme just go right in there-

clark, even more passive aggressive: ha. ha. ha. ha. beep beep. lemme just scoot right past you real quick :)

barry: …i think i said, beep. beep. :)

clark: *intensifies his passive aggressive smile*

barry: *also intensifies his passive aggressive smile*