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It’s so serious for me

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@decadentbatbagelscissors
(x)
It’s so serious for me

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when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)
anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.
i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”
and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.
“What?” i say.
“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.
I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.
oh no is this what we’re doing now
…relic…
*crumbles and blows away on the wind*
Friend in an alleyway | my wife sent me this photo the other day and said "you HAVE to draw this." and I agreed completely <:
oops I was told you can only see the photo if you have a bsky account, so here's a screenshot of it!
the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜
eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

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nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.
context explaining why the announcer is screaming, this is supposed to take a high level competitive agility dog 40 seconds
This video makes me cry every time it’s on my dash and I can’t even iterate why.
Like the dog doesn’t even know it’s a competition and she’s made history. She(?) just is happy and knows she made her owner happy too.
The face of a being with only a wind storm between their ears, moments before unleashing it unto the world
always a pleasure to see this girl on my dashboard
I keep thinking this! very frustrating
fuck!
always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal
J. R. R. Tolkien, undisputedly a most fluent speaker of this language, was criticized in his day for indulging his juvenile whim of writing fantasy, which was then considered—as it still is in many quarters— an inferior form of literature and disdained as mere “escapism.” “Of course it is escapist,” he cried. “That is its glory! When a soldier is a prisoner of war it is his duty to escape—and take as many with him as he can.” He went on to explain, “The moneylenders, the knownothings, the authoritarians have us all in prison; if we value the freedom of the mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it’s our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as possible."
Stephen R. Lawhead
"I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which 'Escape' is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?"
-J.R.R. Tolkien
"Hence the uneasiness which they arouse in those who, for whatever reason, wish to keep us wholly imprisoned in the immediate conflict. That perhaps is why people are so ready with the charge of "escape." I never fully understood it till my friend Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, "What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and hostile to, the idea of escape?" and gave the obvious answer: jailers."
-C.S. Lewis

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the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”
what
fucking shit up with a wooden shoe
oh my god
well wooden shoe look at that
I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE
Mermay 2026 day 19: net
Clone trooper of the day: commander Bly
Strapon-wearing Austin Powers: There's nothing micro about this plastic, baby!
You could easily reboot Austin Powers in the 2020s by having Austin be re-frozen for another 30 years and wake up in the present.
Austin Powers: You Only Freeze Twice
Dr. Evil is President Evil now, with an obvious wig.
They compliment each other's style and become friends instantly.
Plot twist: she's his daughter.
It's extremely obvious to everyone except the two of them until the climax of the movie, when they have their emotional father-daughter reunion while the other characters are exasperated.
Horror game with a madness/corruption mechanic which attempts to trigger sensory aversion in the player by making the menu sound effects increasingly gross as the meter rises.
the obvious choice is to make the sounds increasingly squishy and squelchy; i however propose that, at some point, it should start shifting into increasingly realistic bone-breaking noises
Oh, yeah, full on bad 90s hentai dub level schlorpf is only the midpoint of the meter. Past that point we start augmenting the squish with crunch.
fine. ogle if you must 🙄

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something charmingly twentieth century about this
This counts as a spell
Placeable AOE effect
Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I’m obsessed with the implication that this was a coming-of-age ritual where a boy becomes a man, like a bar mitzvah