MASTHEAD: B.A. O'Connell, a.k.a hellishrebukesystem, and Jack of All Trades SUBS CLOSED UNTIL SEPTEMBER 15th 2023! send subs to deathsdormantdaughter [at] gmail [dot] com. A literary journal dedicated to grief and its consequences. We want to help you process, help you carry, help you know that grief does not have to be suffered alone. We want a place for you to put the stories about the people, the places, the things, the versions of you that you have lost--a place where you know they will be remembered, grieved, felt and known. We want to treat your grief with reverence and respect and give a home to breathe in.
We are still putting this idea together, but I thought I would share some of our vision for future calls, promotion, and goals of this publication/project:
First for transparencies sake, it should be known that this blog is run by a neurodivergent system and as such there may be times when we are forced to temporarily shut down or outsource projects/calls/etc that allow for the best possible promotion of authors/artist/musicians/game designers/ect. possible. We will always give our thousand percent to the running of this publication, but please remember we are a single physical body and with a divided consciousness and limited energy and physical power. That being said, we are incredibly ambitious and have many dreams and interest in the next few years that we would like to explore! If you are interested click the read more.
Following the line of thought above, it should be known that as a system we have many different interests and pursuits in the arts. As such we would want to pursue audio submissions, visual submissions, written submissions, interactive submissions and recorded submissions. We have divided these interests into times of year according to when we will pay attention to them specifically and to enjoy bringing them to a wider audience. It should also be noted that all of these would have the same submission fee: 5$
We don't like to charge fees, but it is necessary to keep ourselves in a reasonable amount of independence and keeping the project going.
January 15th--March 15th
music, audioplays, musical art (such as soundscapes or other forms of using sound as an artistic medium--this would be a really experimental section) And would be published/promoted March 25th on this blog, plus on youtube, soundcloud, spotify (if allowed).
March 30th--May 15th
short films, music videos, recorded performance art, recorded plays, recorded monologues, and cryptidart which is something coined by me as something groundbreaking, undefined, new--just rattles the pervious held ideals of recorded art and what the genre can do. Would publish on this blog, as well as on YouTube. Published/promoted May 25th.
May 31st--June 15
RPGS, Tabletop and Board Games, Interactive Novels and Click Through Games (these would be published on itch.io [uploaded June 25th]) as well as visual art and pictures of *original* 3D prints of *original* characters and *original* fantasy/sci-fi concepts which would be shared here on the blog. [Concepts and visual/3D art would be shared in a weeklong upload frenzy between June 19th to June 26th]
June 30th--August 15th
Knitting patterns/Crochet Patterns/Loom Knitted Patterns to be shared in pdf form as well as printed as collection through amazon.com. The PDF will be shared on this blog. We will also be accepting photographic exhibitions of knitting projects to put in a weeklong "digital gallery" showing on this blog between August 25th and August 31st]
September 15th--October 15th
Poetry. short stories, CNF, and experimental writing. These writings will be shared as PDF on this blog, as well as a printed copy on amazon.com The collection will be themed and published on October 31st.
We would also do two retreats a year. (Not starting until at least 2024--but possibly later than that too.)
The first would be November 1st-8th. It would be a playwrighting retreat held digitally in which we present [1] 90-minute lecture on the first night and then host [6] two-hour workshops involving communicating with other writers and receiving feedback on projects and changes.
We would accept between 8 and 10 participants.
It would cost 20$ to apply and, if accepted, it would cost 250$ to attend.
The second would be December 15th-21st. It would be a poetry and visual poetry writing retreat held digitally. We would present [2] 90-minute lectures spaced out between [3] two-hour workshops to receive feedback on current projects and communicating with other writers.
This would also accept between 8 and 10 participants.
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Well, maybe not fucking lol. But intentionally queer coded? Not that unlikely tbh
(In case it doesn’t show it, it's "Queer Tolstoy: A psychobiography")
Also there was an openly gay couple just after the Napoleonic War, Mikhail Lunin and Hippolite Auger (the latter French). Mikhail Lunin actually published a gay historical novel about Dmitry the Pretender.
There was also an openly trans man, Alexander Alexandrov/Nadezhda Durova who served in the Napoleonic War. Alexander I knew he was trans and gave him his name and a promotion. Pushkin wrote a preface for his memoir, The Cavalry Maiden, tho he and everyone misgendered Alexander.
Still, it doesn’t seem like Russia has always been hatefully, violently homophobic. There actually were queer people writing queer literature in the 1800s. It was pretty much just Stalin who fucked things.
"The image of Lunin was also of interest to L.N. Tolstoy, who planned to write a novel about the Decembrists. Lev Nikolaevich met and corresponded with the Decembrists who returned from exile. Gathering material, he used what was printed, as well as many family notes, memoirs and letters that were entrusted to him. Lunin’s irrepressible energy and sarcasm amazed Lev Nikolaevich. Unfortunately, we won’t know what Lunin’s image would be if the work on this novel was completed. But on the other hand, in the novel War and Peace, one can see many references to Lunin: the campaign of 1805, the battle of the cavalry guards near Austerlitz, the death of a brother, the return home to a father and sister, the tricks of Dolokhov, in whom contemporaries recognized Lunin."
Note: unedited auto-translation “Only one career is open for me – a career of freedom.” Mikhail Lunin 1 The personality of the Decembris
Apparently Lunin also inspired Dostojevsky, specifically the hero of "Demons", Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin.
Also apparently there's a musical, "Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812", that's really gay?? I gotta see that tbh. I fear I'm too ADHD for War and Peace.
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“the point of kintsugi is to treat broken pieces and their repair as part of the history of an object”
David Mitchell // Hanif Abdurraqib // photo by @lakevida // @ashstfu // tiktok comment by @/muddafrigga // Miranda July // Pete Wentz // @jovialtorchlight // caption from Penny Reid [x]
[Image ID: The poem “One Source of Bad Information”, by Robert Bly.
There’s a boy in you about three
years old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirty
Thousand Years. Sometime it’s a girl.
The child had to make up its mind
How to save you from death. He said things like:
“Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.”
You live with this child, but you don’t know it.
You’re in the office, yes, but live with this boy
At night. He’s uninformed, but he does want
To save your life. And he has. Because of this boy
You survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas.
Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you.
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As a writer themselves our editor feels it is necessary to keep themselves up to date on other writers’ views and conversations on the topics of writing craft, publishing, and the journey of becoming/existing as an author. We are only about a half-way through the collection of essays be wha have found them touching, meaningful, and insightful all the way through.
A Court of Thorns and Roses-Sarah J. Maas
This is one is simply pure indulgence, I mean, sexy fae—who can resist? The fae are all parts mysterious, intriguing, dangerous, and intoxicating. Is it a serious read? I don’t know, some people take romantsy very seriously, and that’s alright by me.
What are your reads this month? What you looking forward to on your TBR? Tell is in the reblogs and the tags—we want to know what you are into!
Even More Kickstarter Projects We Are Excited About (30 Minutes to New Year's Day)
Theater Projects:
A play about deferred dreams that do not come true told also through movement and dance.
This is, as expected, a feminist project about what it means to leave one religion for another idealism. It is a personal project for a theater in NYC and though I won't get to watch it, there are probably people who would go to NYC to watch a play they backed or who live in NYC and would back the arts for the sake of backing the arts and interesting play/dance performance. It is a great way to get in on the ground floor and it only needs 400 people with ten dollars to back it; honestly for the love of theater there is no wrong way to spend ten dollars when it comes to something like this--this is truly art for the sake of art and that's a beautiful thing, isn't it? Closes: 01/19/24.
Podcast Projects:
A podcast about the gnarly, difficult, and downright awkward questions of left-wing organising
A throughly deconstructive and invigorating idea that offers real solutions to the problems of modern activism and ideological campaigning. Only needs 60 people with ten dollars to make, so it seems like a great thing to get behind while you can. Also it just seems informative and fun as hell--it is a little slice of academia and theory and real life application brought into the small corners of the internet and idk I just think that's neat. Ends 01/21/24.
Unlocking resilience and community in religious trauma healing. Transformative narratives shaping a more empathetic and connected world
Another project close to my queer and suffering little heart--I so badly want this to go forward; if I could be anymore involved I would--this is fantastically difficult and honestly, wonderful work this person is doing and I know that there is a lot of trouble talking about something like this but in all goshdarn wonderful honesty I just think this could be healing and a nice outlet for a lot of people and it would mean alot to me if it succeeded. Only needs 210 people with 10 dollars to make the dream work. Please share all you can of this post with as many people as possible.
I am so sorry that it is so long, it took me all day to work on it and to gather up the goodies and the links and write these descriptions and I did it because I care so much about these projects so, please, please share it as many times in as many places as you possibly can.
Also share the earlier post because I had to chop it in two at the last possible moment because of Tumblr restriction on links and lengths--ay caramba, am I right?
Projects We Love on Kickstarter (meaning they've been backed with our editor's own money, and we would hate to see them go goal unmet or unfunded...)
Posted 12/31/23
Literature Projects:
Help bring The Apex Cycle trilogy by MT Zimny to audiobook, starting with Book 1, BETA.
The Apex Cycle Audiobook Kickstarter completes in 9 days (01/9/24) and is less than half-way to its 5000-dollar goal; but if even just 250 people donated ten dollars or more it could meet its goal, no problemo, so even if you can't donate the cash--spreading it around Tumblr would be sure to catch the eye of a few somebodies who love sci-fi, audiobooks, and young adult trilogies...
Film Projects:
"I HATE LOVE" explores the complexities of modern romance in the bustling city of Shanghai.
This is a short film project about the struggles of young love and fast paced romance in urban Shanghai--the clips I saw are already sooo beautiful and powerful and I love it so very much--it only has 201$ as of typing this--but I think it deserves all the love--it is such a potentially impactful piece, especially on the young adult/new adult audience it is aiming for--it only has 6 days (01/7/24) but it would only take 250 people pledging 10 dollars each to reach its funding goal.
City-schooled Emily and her conservative mother clash at a hometown gender reveal, navigating a journey towards mutual acceptance.
So, this film speaks closely to the heart of many young people's experiences in education in urban centers and the differences of the often, very conservative, rural areas where they grew up. I think it is an evocative and sharp narrative that deserves to be explored--the film is only about 100 dollars from being fully funded (the campaign ends 01/16/24)--so just ten people with ten dollars can make this a reality. As always spreading the message around Tumblr can help so very very much..
A documentary about the filmmaker's complex relationship with her mother as she struggles with mental illness borne from advancing age.
This film touches on mental health, aging, motherhood, mother/daughter relationships and the stress, grief, and emotion of caretaking for a loved one who isn't who you remember them as. It also tackles the questions of care for mental health and depression in a uniquely Southern Asian way--the filmmaker makes it clear that she wants to explore this part of her and her mother's culture with respect and clarity. This is an incredibly personal and profound look into the filmmaker's life, and I know something this special only comes along ever once in a good while--it needs quite a bit of cash to get funded--but 4000 with ten dollars could do it--we just gotta find those 4000 people who are interested in seeing it happen; this could be a beautiful thing--truly. (This Kickstarter ends on 02/02/24)
1817: Anna flees her wealthy brother and seeks refuge in a Moravian Settlement, the home of Erich, who she has been seeing in secret.
Sister Anna is a film for all those romantics out there who also love period dramas and tense family dynamics--probably appealing to those who love Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, and Romeo and Juliet. This is a broody short film meant to capture the tension of being beholden to one person or another. With a seemingly impossible situation to make it through--this film sings with intensity. Again, it needs a bit of money, about 1000 dollars, but that's just, you guessed it 100 people with ten dollars; surely those somebodies are floating in the ether of Tumblr and beyond somehow. This campaign ends (01/16/23)
A cinematic contemporization of the ideas of Ernest Becker whose book THE DENIAL OF DEATH won the Pulitzer Prize in 1974
A highly philosophical film looking at Ernest Becker's idea of why humans do what they do and how it ties into his Pulitzer Prize winning book THE DENIAL OF DEATH--this film ponders what human deception could lead or is the source of in the modern virtual age--what does it mean to be human now, when deception and denial are so easily accessible to us? Personally, I am fascinated by this question. I love philosphy--I think a lot of other people on this sight do too--hopefully we can find them out there because this project needs 2000 with ten dollars to achieves its goal. The window for backing closes in ten days on 01/10/24.
Documentary on the most significant architectural and anti-fascist landmark in the Former Yugoslavia and the fight to save it.
A unique look at the division within former Yugoslavia and it's struggles with both fascist and communist ideals--and it means specifically for a complicated and controversial monument; the documentary is not about blame but more about the struggle to save this important historical icon. It needs about 2600 people with ten dollars to get fully funded, but I think there is enough interest in history and soviet/fascist ideological fall-out/consequences to reach those people on Tumblr and beyond to where ever you all see fit to share it; please talk to your friends about all the projects on this list--they are so so so important for the arts and the expansion humanity's understanding of itself and where it came from. The end date for this film's campaign is 02/04/24.
A story of two men trying to navigate their past and heal in the present, amidst grief and aspirations. Currently in Post Production.
Farewell is a story about what it means to be heartbroken, bereaved, and what it is to dig up the past in order to work through the present. The directors, writers, and crew are all very interested in presenting a relationship of tenderness between male friends in a distinct defiance of the ideals of modern masculinity which shies away from these moments in media and literature. I for one think allowing tenderness as a possibility is frankly a beautiful cause. This needs 500 backers with ten dollars--surely somewhere out on the internet they exist. Please donate if you can, please share if you can't. It can make a huge difference in some young creatives' careers. Campaign ends 01/8/24.
'What does being in love mean if you can't trust a person?' - Evelyn Waugh
A tense and thrilling psychological horror which present the tense and ever vigilante question in a young person's mind in the modern age--are we ever safe with the people we decided to trust our lives to? Is dating ever a safe bet? Can ever really know what another person is capable of? These are age old questions which have tantalized the mind of philosophers, horror directors, writers, and actors alike. This film needs 400 backers with ten dollars each to make--it presents such a fascinating and exciting take on an ancient question--when should we trust our intuition and our fear and when should we rationalize our way out of it? --it would break my heart if this wasn't funded; it really would. Campaign closes 01/16/23.
Written by Brandon Foxworth, Directed by Ryan Murtha, Starring Brandon Foxworth and Kyle Christiansen.
A story about what it means to define oneself and one's relationship when the boundaries are secret even from one's own internal and external senses of self--this story takes a look at two queer young men's relationship with one another and what it means to be in a relationship and outside of it at the same time. It is definitely gonna hit a nerve with many queer people and what it means to be undefinable.
{A little aside here: I am so excited for this project and hope to be credited as a producer--which would just be so fucking cool as a kid from bumfucknowhere TX (who went through queer conversion therapy and the works as a teen and beyond) to be a producer on a queer film would just make my little tomboi's heart sing; I might even cry--never mind it's not about me; the point is this seems so poignant and powerful and I just want a story like this told and I just want to be a small piece of that story to be possible because of me and because of people like me out there in the interwebs. }
It only needs 150 backers with ten dollars to be fully funded and good God what a gift that would be. Campaign closes 01/23/34.
I am so sorry that it is so long, it took me all day to work on it and to gather up the goodies and the links and write these descriptions and I did it because I care so much about these projects so please please share it as many times in as many places as you possibly can.
Hey all—I know we’ve been posting a lot of web weaving lately (we love a good web weave—especially about grief, loss, and torturous love—it’s kinda what we are all about on this blog—) but we have decided to shake it up and post about the especially lovely adaptation of Hamlet we watched just before Christmas—nearly four hours long but 100% worth it.
REASON NUMBER ONE:
He does insane, sassy, and irritated so damn well. This mockery of Polonious is classic—just because Hamlet has lost his marbles doesn’t mean is stupid—he knows what’s up and he know’s he is being watched every moment of his frenzied dive into the abyss.
REASON NUMBER TWO:
He wears the veil of doubt with sincerity and desperation—to be so resistant to do what the Ghost has said—to still be giving his Uncle even an ounce of leeway, shows that in Hamlet’s heart there is still some tenderness yet and Andrew Scott shows that desperate clinging to tenderness and compromise as a beautiful, yet painful thing—it makes Hamlet’s fatal flaw all the more apparent.
REASON NUMBER THREE
His performance of the most famous speech in Hamlet is so quietly despairing and so subtlety laced with sorrow’s edge. Most (at least in my experience) actors at this point dive full on into loud and angry and crashing; but Scott decides to embrace the soulful and soft pondering of the depression and grief within Hamlet—I love the different take!
REASON NUMBER FOUR
He embraces the absurdity with wonderful restraint. Scott’s decision to focus the underlying tension within Hamlet’s understanding that the situation is absurd—from the funeral to the wedding to the call to vengeance—he is acutely aware that the situation is ridiculous and that all will be unsatisfactorily resolved and yet he is compelled to try to find a resolution that will solve the mounting problems in Denmark. Scott plays it fantastically—humor at ever turn and yet such sorrow and awareness that much is doomed.
REASON NUMBER FIVE:
In the graveyard scene his genuine surprise, grief, and tenderness towards Yorrick only makes the following scene with Ophelia much more heartbreaking—it seems, at some point at his time he had forgotten the mortality of those outside himself, suprising as it is in the fallout of his father’s death—and the gentle reminder to be follow by the dagger of sharp and large reminder through Ophelia is played through so very very well.
In conclusion—please watch Hamlet with Andrew Scott—you won’t regret it. I’ll even link it down below.
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