Of Sin, Salt and Slack: A SDR2 Critical Walkthrough, Day 9 + 10!
It’s Day 9! I’ve spent a few hours decluttering my laptop and streamlining my workflow for writing. My original note app, Zoho Notebook, pissed me off because when you have long documents or a lot of notes, it tries to compete with a honey trail into my warm milk for slowness. It seems all note apps cannot agree on streamlining experiences for their users. Features get ommitted with updates and never come back, export and import options vary widely, basic features like tags and folders aren’t commonplace and if you’re super lucky, the dev decided batch select was optional.
…Just like they thought structure and personality was optional in this game. I guess people never change.
Either way, let’s get into it! Who’s our next victim after yesterday’s moral deprivation?! If you're coming back, we met Nekomaru, Peko, Sonia and Teruteru. Nekomaru is the author-designated dumbass that I like more than his flagship big-brains because he's loud and laid-back. Peko is a red flag with a sword and emotional constipation, Sonia is so hollow she exists as a harassment joke punchline though a sponsorship for Princess Vibes Cosmetics and the fitting nothingspeak, and Teruteru is the arbiter of said punchline only black-white background ghosts laugh about. Also he's the encapsulation of the game's failures. If he made it through you know the trash compactor in production wasn't firing.
[Scene 10 - Prologue, Ranch. Magical Girlfailure mode to body horror.]
Nagito: "This looks like a ranch."
Is it your turn to quote the obvious now? Really though… what is it now, a corral or a ranch? I can see a A corral is technically part of a ranch. For a corral it’s sparsely lived in. That chicken either has the time of its life or needs therapy for touch starvation.
Larry: "…Though there aren’t many animals around."
I beat you to it again Larry. NEXT.
Usami: "Aww…you found it out!"
Yes Usami, we have eyes. Do you just have buttons or what is that supposed to mean? Did you pull a deal with an other mother?
Oh and now there’s an extra animal. No corral without bunnies! ...Unless you're in Watership Down.
Larry: "You again! Seriously, where do you keep appearing from!?"
From nowhere, Larry. If you flicked the reset button up there maybe you’d realise she teleported. However, you’re in denial every time you could ask an unconventional question or have a logical thought.
Usami: "I can show up anywhere, anytime! The system allows me to appear anywhere on the island!"
One, Usami is dumber than Hajime, two, the blatant worldbuilding ‘hint’ in this would leave a mark on my forehead if I facepalmed as hard as I rolled my eyes. It’s like breaking a hole into the Sistine Chapel with a truck and calling it art.
Usami: "It’s all thanks to this handy-dandy Magic Stick!"
Wow, really? Her powers are tied to her Magic Stick? Everyone and their mother knows most Magical Girls only transform with their magic item, so why do you look like you’re already transformed??
Someone at Spikey based Usami off their vague childhood memories of Sailor Moon and Pretty Cure and threw them in the blender at max speed so all we get is runny pink sludge.
Not to mention that this is foreshadowing for when Monokuma beats her up. He cracks her stick and her conviction with it. Alter Ego, or whoever the fuck at Future Foundation programmed this rollercoaster, why did you give the supervisor of this program an accessory to access her powers instead of loading them straight into her?
I only have one answer for that, plot convenience. Makes Usami a nice punching bag and harmless to the wonky outline you needed to make work. Whatever sysadmin you pick, they'd fire before you breathed on the keyboard... Unless you're managing npm.
Larry: (Magic Stick, huh?… Is she talking about that toy she’s holding?)
You conveniently forgot she summoned sparkly hearts from it half an hour ago. And why is that your reference of a toy? Did your mom give you hers? Let me guess, you’ve never seen a Magical girl before, either.
Usami: "Hmmm…still, I am quite troubled…"
That there’s so little animals on the ranch? You have better things to worry about, like explaining to your students what the hell is going on. Or be sincere about being useless and go get milk for good. I'm sure Rocketpunch has a lot of it.
Usami: "A ranch without any moo-cows is like a soccer team without any balls."
Every time Usami makes a dirty joke I die inside. What is she now? A grown teacher? The butt of the joke? An innocent girl? I swear this game reeks of lazy compromise.
Nagito: "You might want to rephrase that…"
Moving on. Another cringe joke.
I started too late and I’m too tired to continue, which means Day 9 - END,(55:22). Let’s see how harshly they assassinate Usami tomorrow!
DAY 10! I am cranky like an old man and figured that I need to pace myself with screentime and set timers to do some stretches. I don’t want to become a shrimp and end up in someone’s fried rice at some point of my life! Maybe that chicken on Usami corral will though… or we’re going for oyakodon, because this game is as much of a cruel joke as the meal. Except the food tastes good. I am the final boss of runny eggs you’ll need to defeat. LET’S GOOOO
Usami: "All righty! Just leave it to me and my handy-dandy Magic Stick!"
Ugh, her voice is just as terrible for her role as her personality. It’s like someone retained their mushy toddler-accent up into adulthood. She speaks words so softly I’d be surprised she could slot wooden blocks into the right holes.
Usami: "Bibidi Bobidi! Bibidi Bobidi!"
What are you now? Sailor Moon or a Disney godmother? At least the dramatic chanting of Anglicised attack names is on point for the Magical Girl (and Shounen, I’ll happily offend everyone by saying it’s Magical Boy) tropes.
Usami: "Bibidibibidi! Bobidibobidi!"
…And when are we seeing your new form?
Usami: "Bu! Turn into a moo-cow!"
Ah, it’s gonna be the chicken’s new form.
Larry: "…BWHAAAAAAAAA-!?"
This is the only time you couldn’t get away with compartmentalising shit. Do they bother bringing up Usami’s magic outside of bonking Monobeats later?
I wonder how the chicken’s feeling in its new body. Why isn’t it panicking? Is it too dumb? I'd be distressed too if someone body swapped me into something larger, less mobile that needs to walk on all fours.
You really didn't take into account its headspace, Usami, did you?
...Not like you do, ever.
Usami: "Harumph! A huge success!"
You just had to whip out your wand and chant the holy spells of glitter dust. Why do you phrase it like it was a huge achievement?
You could’ve made a friend for the cow at least. Use that toucan next if you pull things through to the end.
Larry: "Wh-What was all that just now…?"
Exactly what I saw. Usami turned Miss Karaage into Miss Wagyu. The udders aren’t coloured for some reason. This time you’re excused for thinking you’re hallucinating.
Larry: "A-A chicken…changed into…a cow!?"
Nagito: "Nah, it’s probably some sort of trick or illusion. I bet it was set up before we got here."
Says the idiot that had a meteorite crash into the exact plane his parents were on. How high is the likelihood of that? SSR Gacha banner first-try? Winning the lottery three times? Getting lightning to strike you?
Nagito: "She was probably trying to make us happy, but…I guess it had the opposite effect on you, Hajime."
It’s Larry. I swapped in Hajime during the first introduction at the beach and you didn’t notice yet. Not that I'm surprised. Now where the hell do you read that from? Usami admitted herself that she wanted a cow on the ranch and back on the beach, she was gaslighting you and withholding information. Is the invisible prompter whispering the subtext in your ear?
That was probably to stroke her ego again… As swinging as stick is hardly remarkable for most magicians.
Larry: (…A trick? An illusion?)
Larry: (W-Well, if you think rationally, it makes sense…)
Implying what you just thought about this trick was irrational. Yes, she uses magic! Maybe it should've started dawning on you when she made the classroom collapse!
Either way, congratulations! This is the first time you react to magic like a human being.
Shame it will last for this scene only.
Larry: (A chicken can’t just change into a cow. Messing with living things like that is just not cool, you know?)
You’re throwing shade on every beasttamer, necromancer and summoner in the existence of games. You will be recruited as ‘Larry, the Sorry Soul of a Dead Sea Urchin’ that has 5 HP but is so prickly no one wants to hit it. But yes, I agree that Usami doing that was as empathetic as a baseball bat to the noggin.
…Especially since I know that cow’s gonna see Nekomaru’s fists and end up at the party as murder weapon concealment. A cow has one of the important roles of this game!
[Scene 11 - Prologue, Ranch. Japanese VS. Japan nerd, GO!]
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
Ah yes, the Nihon Buyo redux.
Larry: (What’s this kid doing?)
Do you have working eyes or is that a metaphorical question?
Larry: (She’s sitting down and she keeps pressing her finger onto the floor with all her strength.)
Larry is short-sighted and blind to trails of ants.
Larry: "Um, are you okay? I haven’t introduced myself, right?"
Mentally? Good question. NEXT.
Larry: "My name is Hajime Hinata…"
Hiyoko: "I’m Hiyoko Saionji."
TIME! Fastest introduction so far. Now we wait for it to get ruined.
SPINNN, SPINN SPINN, sorry, I hypnotised you with my spinning top.
We’ve got another Americanisation AND a fuckup of danganronpa.wiki.
The (Ultimate) SHSL Traditional Dancer angle ignores that this is a Japanese game and makes you assume whatever country stepdance you saw when you visited Texas. danganronpa.wiki is even worse by translating it as ‘Classical Dancer’. When I think of classical dance, I think of waltzing to a piano ensemble. That’s why specificity is essential.
The original text would be translated into ‘SHSL Nihon Buyo Dancer/Japanese Dancer’. Nihon Buyo, which translates to ‘Japanese dance’ is a subtype of Japanese dance (blame the natives, they called it that confusingly) originally derived from kabuki and is a separate categorisation from noh and odori. It’s refined and supposed to be performed for entertainment on a stage.
Of course, what you can barely call nods towards that will be Hiyoko being too spoiled to tie her obi...which I can do, and I'm an idiot and has one stage performance with Ibuki with a static CGI in Chapter 3. Then Mikan ties her obi in front like that of a good ol’ oiran during her murder. I guess you can die stylishly at least.
Her design is also a failure. She looks like kimono-wearing blonde Nr. 6 and I’m still trying to figure out whether she’s wearing a furisode or a normal-length sleeve kimono.
…It’s a tsukesage. Semi-formal. Pattern on the lower hem. Anything more casual would be symmetrically patterned. Don't look at me for yukata, some look like komon, some like short-sleeve furisode and most like a black shibori fashion disaster that melts my eyes.
I have to correct myself. Even the native traditions get mugged for the aesthetic flash reel of Spike Chunsoft.
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
What can I say? Her voice matches her face. DId you know Larry collects her underwear too? Yep, I wanted to be sure you keep that in mind.
Larry: (She hasn’t stopped pressing her finger onto the floor… Seriously, what’s she doing?)
Seriously, you can’t see the ants? You’re bad at seeing things so maybe we should look for glasses for you.
Larry: (And her appearance and voice are so young… I can’t believe she’s actually a high school student.)
Do they mention why she looks like this, ever? Nutritional deprivation? Excessive training and thus a delay in development from stress? I’m throwing these things out there when I’m sure Spikey skimmed over it and went ‘this is fine’.
Seriously though, why is she a loli? Why did you need one?
Nagito: "Hiyoko’s talent has made her known as the (Ultimate) Traditional Dancer."
I did my research better than you, Nagito. Rough times.
Nagito: "As a rookie, the Japanese dance industry expects a lot from her. She’s already performed overseas many times."
Then she’s not a rookie, and why does the dance industry expect so much from her? NEXT.
Nagito: "It seems her performances are popular among young audiences, which is rare in the Japanese dance industry."
This makes my head ache. Why would set tradition suddenly be interesting to a younger audience? Did they pay good money for marketing or do they specialise in the more modern shin-buyo? But that'd mean her tradition is less then a hundred years old because shin-buyo was created during the Taisho era (1912–1926). But hey, modern kimono pretend they're ages old when their convoluted seasonal, formality and fabric rules came in with profit maximisation. Whatever, no thought put into this.
Nagito: "Well, then again, her fans are mostly men."
Why are these girls’ talents seen from the focus of men? If you’ll excuse me, I’ll throw up on you.
Larry: (It’s probably because she looks so young… Her fans probably all have the same niche or something.)
The niche is called pedophilia. Call it for what it is, you moron. If the writers try to soften it one more time I’m going to serve them on brown rice sprinkled with responsibility avoidance sesame.
If you have lead in her nastiness with sexual abuse the same way Kotoko in AE did, she'd be a better character. I might do an analysis of AE later too, but if my memory serves me correct she had the throughline of a messed up kid with hypersexuality as a coping mechanism and everyone was too busy getting offended and uncomfortable. But that’d shoo away your audience! Oh nooo!
The cutting off her clothes part was awful though, no front.
(Future Muku: Good luck getting me to do that after the Servant analysis. No.)
*Achievement unlocked: Spikey doesn’t give a shit!*
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
Larry: "Hey, what exactly are you doing?"
You should’ve asked this two internal monologues ago.
Hiyoko: "Hmmm? I’m squishing!"
Hiyoko: "Mr. Ant, of course. I’m squishing lots of Mr. Ants."
How did her grandma let her get away with being an asshole? Why are you squishing ants? It’s gross to have their remains on your fingers. This is supposed to be an heiress to a generations-old dancing tradition. Or whatever her grandma fabricated up for her to believe it's prestigious if it's shin-buyo.
It’s canon, Larry is blind. NEXT.
Hiyoko: "Hehe… If you squish their tummies just right, it makes this awesome sound."
Proof? Does anyone have merciless toddlers and can verify what she’s saying? I thought kids usually play with beetles or rainworms.
Hiyoko: "Wanna do it together!?"
Her dialogue says ‘Onii’, which is big brother. Welcome to lolicore.
Ah yes, is this the type of princess you imagined when you said Sonia was unusually approachable?
She sounds like she’s disappointed.
Loli + humiliation? Very creative. Very questionable. I’d have preferred if only Mahiru did it because she looks of age.
Larry: "Th-This kid… her attitude doesn’t match her appearance at all."
Cool, we got trivia on traditional art, kimono, gender dynamics and pedophilia courtesy of me instead of character insight! Courtesy of a salty dweeb who put more work into their one DR OC than these guys into the game.
Akane: "Heeeey! Who’re you dudes?"
*Achievement unlocked: Collective amnesia*
Larry: "It’s nice to finally meet you… I’m Hajime Hinata."
I forgot to wipe your name partition when I swapped in Larry, huh. You sound like you were matched up for a political marriage and fell in love with Akane's selfie so hard you travelled across the globe to meet her.
Akane: "Gotcha… And who’s this other dude?"
It’s Larry, occasionally lobotomised instead of always.
Nagito: "…Huh? Haven’t we already met?"
Why do you only mention that with Akane? What about Mikan, Sonia, Mahiru, anyone that never acknowledges you had introduced yourself before?
Ah right, to make her look dense when all of you are.
Akane: "Oh, haha! I’m so sorry!"
Nagito, you’ve gone into protagonist range for so long the mediocrity rubbed off on you.
Akane: "I pretty much suck at rememberin’ names, and I’ve met so many interestin’ characters today."
We’re playing her as dumb straight away, but honestly, how’d you remember the names of 16 people you met in the course of an hour? You’d need a bunch of repetition to let it stick. She’s being honest about what she thinks of her classmates… albeit just so vaguely that they might as well not exist.
Thankfully for me, and unfortunately for the last legs the plot is standing on, Akane admits that everyone got introduced to each other too and they conveniently don’t mention them. Lack of a storyboard go brrrrr.
Nagito: "I’m Nagito Komaeda. If you can, please don’t forget my name again…"
Thanks for the guilt-tripping, Nagito. JUST TELL HER YOUR NAME YOU ASSHOLE.
Akane: "Yo! The name’s Akane Owari! Nice to meetcha!"
…Is she wearing a bra? With how women are treated in this game, she’s bare beneath it. I’m surprised one can’t see her nipples. Girls can decide not to wear them, I just don't see why they couldn't bother with more than the most barebones uniform and cleavage.
SPINN SPINN SPINN, oh I threw my frisbee in the tree.
This one is confusing because I don’t remember much about Akane except fighting and some parkour. Her Japanese title would translate to ‘Gymnastics Club’ in which ‘gymnastics’ can mean artistic gymnastics or normal gymnastics. Either way, the 'club' meaning was removed once again. I’ll stick with the normal gymnastics for this.
All in all, "SHSL Gymnastics Club Member" is right. Good job on that one, danganronpa.wiki.
Nagito: "Akane is known as the (Ultimate) SHSL Gymnast, and an all-around super athlete."
Then why isn’t she called the SHSL Athlete? I’m not going to pretend I know jack about the sports industry because I die when I do two situps.
Nagito: "Rumor has it she’s a wild troublmaker, but her athletic ability is off the charts."
Another boring wikipedia recital and you avoiding specifics on what medals she won or competitions she entered.
Nagito: "However, her basics and fundamentals are all over the place, so her gymnastic routines are mostly improvised."
This is the first time specificity served a character and it’s in one I was expecting it least in. Good job, Akane.
Nagito: "If she’s in her groove, she performs splendidly. but if she’s not, she loses interest and switches it up."
This right there is potential for a character arc, though I’d love to know why she’s so stop-and-go. You could say that’s just impulse, but that's what usually gives you a flat character that only focuses on survival. Which reminds me she’s lived on the streets… That’s actually a really solid character. You need to improvise when you can get mugged randomly.
…However, Japan allegedly has a low crime rate, so why does her backstory sound like she’s from Brazil? Not that it matters, again. They won't put that into the game, and I won't pretend they did either.
Larry: (How self-centered… No matter how you cut it, she definitely sounds like a troublemaker…)
For WHAT, Larry? You’ve been clinging to the shirt hem of Nagito for most of this prologue and were ruining people’s fun because you want to go to Hope’s Peak. Stop snorting the projectium and copium. Akane’s at least got agency of her own and coaches herself. That's more than you've been doing for over half an hour.
God, my image of you tanks and tanks. We must be at the core of the Earth now. If this were Minecraft, you'd have mysteriously managed to blast past bedrock.
Larry: (Even so, she’s called the (Ultimate) SHSL Gymnast for a reason, so her performances must be amazing to see…)
No she isn’t. I hereby give Akane permission to crush Larry’s head like a watermelon. Though it’ll likely moreso give in like a rotting coconut.
Larry: (I…can’t visualise her as a normal high school student. I mean, she’s got the physique of an Olympic athlete.)
Is she a GYMNAST or an ATHLETE? Pick one Spikey. You can very much visualise her as one, I don't know what part of your noise filter breaks from her wearing a school uniform. Getting jacked doesn’t mean you have to skip school and go brawling with boryokudan in Shibuya in sukeban uniforms. ...Noted redesign idea.
Or maybe you could touch on xenophobia for her skin colour because it shows in everything in Japan. See region-locks, Japan-only content and events, licensing issues and people being too prudish to let you access their MikuMikuDance model without an obsure password from nikonikodouga. The Japanese tried to make the Koreans look like idiots with a xenophobic manga in the past already. They can be goddamn glad I’m so fascinated by their culture.
Wow! It ended on a remark on her body! What. A. Game.
Nagito: "Huh? Don’t tell me you…"
Nagito: "Oh, I get it! So, you have a thing for sexy bodies, huh?"
Akane, crush both of their heads please. I'm feeling bloodlust.
Larry: "You’re being really loud… I know you’re doing this on purpose."
If this was supposed to be funny, I'd prefer haemorrhoids.
*selects bridge to Central Island*
Nagito: "Hajime… It looks like if we go across this bridge, we can reach another island not far from here."
This is why modern gaming is shit. Everyone’s sense of discovery and wonder is undermined when you get things explained to you five times.
I’ll figure it out once a plank breaks and you take a dive. Please do.
Why would you doubt the construction of the bridge anyway? Did you see any rot or broken wood? Probably not. The only other option is to multiply and march over it in sync so the vibrations destroy it.
Nagito: "That’s what we’re going to find out, right?"
DON’T REWARD HIM FOR HIS PARANOIA YOU NUT.
Larry: (If it’s not safe when we get there, then what will you do…?)
Run? Like any smart person? ...Wait.
What exactly are you scared about at this point? Did you get Irukandji syndrome and a sudden sense of doom out of the blue? It's all whine whine whine scary whine louder and then get cheered up by Nagito.
*selects bridge to second Island*
Larry: (I see a bridge in the distance but it looks like there’s a gate blocking it.)
In the distance? The gate and bridge start right in front of you.
Oh, there’s frangipani. Let’s see if the vegetation grows in in their approximate location or they tacked on generic tropical flowers (TM) for flavour!
Of course they did. These two flowers I’m guessing are Hibiscus x rosa sinensis and Plumeria alba, which are native to Polynesia and the Karribean respectively. They’re both used as ornamental shrubs, so you can’t tell whether they grow natively on Jabberwock or were put there for the ‘tropical feeling’ shorthand.
It’s fascinating how different the species can look, a thousand times cooler than whatever these two narrative disappointments are doing. Look up Hibiscus schizopetalus or insularis, shizopetalus specifically looks like a red spider lily and a hibiscus had a dramatically frilly baby. That was a brief Wikipedia skim, by the way.
Nagito: "It looks like there’s another island on the other side of the bride, but it seems we can’t cross it."
Typo, and yes, the reticle already told me that. NEXT.
Larry: "Yeah, that seems to be the case."
*selects Jabberwock Park*
WE PASSED AN HOUR OF PLAYTIME BABYYYYY
Larry: "So…this is a park…"
Haven’t seen one before, either? What are you, a test tube experiment that lived inside till age 15?
Nagito: "A park surrounded by the ocean…"
Please let a tsunami hit it. NEXT.
Nagito: "Hmm, it feels so nice."
WHAT feels so nice? The breeze? The warmth? The sunburn you’ve got to have already? Or is a mosquito sucking the life out of you?
Larry: (Such a laidback attitude.)
No, you call that terminal room-temperature IQ. The ambient temp on this island is higher than both of your brain cells combined. SHUT UP ALREADY LARRY. We get it, you’re trying to ruin everyone’s fun again... Do you ever get tired?
Larry: (But…if weren’t in a situation like this, I’d probably be enjoying some lazy sunbathing myself.)
…You are surrounded by trees and Nagito is supposedly doing some sunbathing? I called your bitter whining. Cry harder.
Larry: (‘If’ being the key word.)
Meta voice: (How are your introductions going? I’d like to inform you about another feature.)
They’re going garbage, thanks for asking! Why didn’t you tell me about the feature before?? Is it so special you needed to save it up for later?
Meta voice: (You may have already noticed, but you have a level assigned to you.)
…Which you could’ve explained to me with the Tamagotchi, either way, both are padding.
Meta voice: (It’s displayed on the top right corner of your screen.)
No shit, it’s been bothering me constantly.
Meta voice: (Your level increases by performing various actions, such as walking, examining and talking to others.)
This is your way to get people motivated to play through this slog of a game. You know what’d have been more fun? Making the characters and world engaging.
Meta voice: (Every time you level up, you will become stronger than you were before.)
Why should I believe you?
Meta voice: (The number of skills you can equip will also increase, so please try your hardest to level up often.)
… So you’re gacha-baiting me into wasting my time to get my full powers. The slot expansion would be unneccessary if you had fun trial mechanics and a well-tuned difficulty that'd require me to be smart about the ones I choose, but apparently putting work into making a GAME fun instead of being condescending is beyond your comprehension!
