i am the judas of the french canada

Personal ad from the Village Voice, 1996 (longlostpersonals)

Quote from page 491:

"For a diagnosis of female sexual interest/arousal disorder to be made, clinically significant distress must accompany symptoms in Criterion A. Distress may be experienced as a result of the lack of sexual interest/arousal or as a result of significant interference in a women's life and well-being. If a life-long lack of sexual desire is better explained ny one's self-identification as "asexual," then a diagnosis of female sexual/arousal disorder would not be made."

Worse, there is no equivalent sentence for "men" and/or "male" persons, so their asexuality would straight up be pathologised and diagnosed as Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder.

Furthermore quote from page 779:

"A paraphilic disorder is a paraphilia that is currently causing distress or impairment to the individual [...]"

A secret moment - Ricardo Cherbeluka , 2025.

Brazilian , b. 1978 -

This is not to say that feeling anger is abusive; it's human to feel anger. But if you've ever felt like your anger was "unjustified" or were afraid to express it outwardly because you expected it to be dismissed ... ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. I find that a lot of folks who were The Grown Up in a relationship with their parents hold themselves to much different standards than they hold other people.

Plugging away on this little project, about 1/3rd the way done.

Some talk about freedom from gendered expectations, but become weirdly dismissive or aggressive when people have complex genders that don't fit into 'so you're a boy' or 'so you're a girl'.

"You're not nonbinary, you have internalised transmisogyny and will one day realise you're a binary trans woman."

"Theyfabs love to remind you they're nonbinary when you call them men 🙄"

"Only AFAB people want to be nonbinary but they're still basically women."

"If you're AMAB and nonbinary you're clearly just a man trying to be special."

"Weaponising their special snowflake gender."

"Abolishing gender is binaryphobia."

Some AAVE speakers pluralize 'child' as 'childrens'. People get racist about this ("It's already plural!"), but 'children' actually comes from Middle English speakers doing the same thing: slapping their plural marker on word already pluralized by an extinct plural marker.

To oversimplify: in Old English, 'childer' ('ċildra') was the plural of 'child' ('ċild'). Middle English developed an '-en' plural marker, which we see in 'oxen'. Instead of updating to 'childen', people slapped their preferred '-en' onto the end of 'childer' - so now we have 'child-er-en'. AAVE carries on this tradition with 'child-er-en-s'.

"Pure" language is just impurity obscured by the passage of time.

i’m not talking about gender affirming posts for trans guys designed to offset actual dysphoria. i’m talking about the more general ones like “you’re still Manly if you have depression” or “taking care of your health/asking for consent/cooking/etc is actually Super Masculine because xyz”

it’s the same phenomenon as people reassuring straight men that Physical Affection Isn’t Gay, like yes you’ve identified the symptoms of the problem, that men won’t discuss or do certain things bc they are terrified of not seeming Manly Enough™ but it isn’t getting to the root of the problem

which in this case is that patriarchy draws a line around women and anything associated with women and calls it tainted, lesser, weak, foolish, crazy, worthless. And so men don’t want to be associated with those terrible Womanly things because maybe that would mean that they were just as tainted, lesser, weak, foolish, crazy, or worthless as women are.

and insisting that some of these ‘tainted’ things are actually Manly After All doesn’t solve the root problem. even if you succeed there will always be other important things men are cutting themselves off from because they don’t want to be tainted by the association with women.

so like even if your only priority is men being whole and healthy people, even if you don’t give a shit about women, if your goal is to make it okay for men to cry and be vulnerable and seek help and live full and happy lives as complete human beings who aren’t constantly dividing and subsuming and destroying vital pieces of themselves they don’t think are Manly enough –

if you want to let men just live without the pressure to constantly prove themselves Manly Enough –

targeting misogyny is just the only viable way to do that.

hegemonic masculinity requires a ‘lesser’ thing to set itself up in opposition to, something that’s hated and despised and demeaned that men have to be trained to try to not be like. Without misogyny the whole thing collapses. There’s no pressure to be Manly™ if there’s no shame in not being a man.

That seems fairly pointless from a liberation standpoint; it challenges nothing, and adds very little. Men in this perspective are still entitled to power over women, but the things they must do to maintain that power are slightly different and perhaps a little less violent.

The idea that men are and must be masculine, the concept of gendering certain traits as Manly and others as Womanly, is inherently a patriarchal construction and any attempt to expand these categories or salvage some kind of healthy way to use them is doomed.

Courage, integrity, kindness, all these things people are currently championing as “healthy masculinity” - these traits can and do exist in people of all genders. When we urge men to be good people, it’s ultimately counterproductive to appeal to their desire to identify with hegemonic masculinity, because we’re still, in that case, working with and upholding the gender hierarchy.

Men are capable of doing good without being rewarded with the power that comes with a higher station in the gender hierarchy, and it is both unnecessary and counterproductive to promise this reward by identifying good behaviours as “masculine”.

It is unnecessary and counterproductive to gender the traits required to engage with others in a prosocial way. And it’s ultimately more useful to think of ourselves as human beings trying to live our values, instead of trying to redefine divisive and hierarchical gender roles into something healthy and progressive.

Knitting finished as of last night! Still need to weave in a few ends, wash, and block.

sequoyah was the man who created the tsalagi syllabary before it was ever a tree

if i try to look for apparel or crafts to show off my chickasaw pride, i get results for chickasaw plums which is just a specific species of plum before i get results about human beings

others have mentioned if they google their nations name they get boot companies before their nations website!

theres a tweet that still haunts me that was about a Quirky Quasi American Restaurant in europe or somewhere that was being funny by being cowboy themed and their steaks were named after native american nations. even outside the usa we are nothing but literal dead meat for others consumption

"blackhawk" "apache" - fuck theres a whole wikipedia page for the way weve had our names used for weapons used to colonize and kill us and others!

reference: