(general low level panic)

headcanon that one of wesper’s stray cats named inej gets lost one day and wanders through the tunnel and eventually ends up in the crow club and spooks kaz so he feeds it begrudgingly only to immediately regret it because then slowly all the other cats start doing it too which just turns into one big cycle of him getting snuck up on by inej

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

wylan at 23 learning how after 7 years all your cells are officially regenerated. him realizing he now lives with a body his father never touched. him telling inej about it. inej quitely weeping that night because even if the memories are still there this body is entirely hers. idk if it makes sense and it is very badly worded but i'm at work and it's driving me insane.

modern wesper phones being complete opposites of one another (but not in the way you might think). jesper’s is absolutely pristine and looks like he bought it two days ago. wylan’s is so cracked and scuffed that you’d think it went through at least one trash compactor, and you can barely operate it anymore. jesper’s phone case is neon green but you can’t tell because it’s covered in as many stickers as he can fit on it. wylan’s case is the most plain one he could find with a few stickers he liked from jesper’s massive collection. jesper’s lock screen is a candid of wylan working out a composition on the piano and happening to glance up at him with a little smile, the sunlight catching his face just right, and jesper thinks it’s the most beautiful picture of wylan he’s ever taken. wylan’s lock screen is a slightly-blurry zoomed-in picture of jesper pulling an exaggerated (+ very undignified) face that makes wylan giggle a bit every time his phone turns on.

when you drink all the wine in the house and then you have. :( no wine in the house

me when i excuse myself during a dinner party to sneak outside and milk more cabernet sauvignon from the Creature

had food poisoning when i posted this

Well if you'd pasteurized the Cabernet Sauvignon you milked from the creature maybe you wouldn't have gotten food poisoning from it.

oh suddenly everyone's an expert on the Creature i milk

headcanon that colm can play the bagpipes but he will never tell jesper (he has nightmares of a hyperactive eight year old jesper running around the farm playing a stolen bagpipe deafeningly loudly)

rereading the first six of crows and forgot how many times jesper mentions wylan’s flute. give him a break smh 😭😭

i also feel the need to point out that male pattern baldness is inherited from the mother’s side. so like even if Wylan did have Jan’s hair, unless Marya’s father is bald he’d be fine

ah... your secret technique... in normal circumstances, such a bullet would have no effect on me, but you certainly knew that, my rival... and so, cleverly, you accelerated it with a gun

legal procedural about a sleazebag lesbian lawyer cruising divorce court to pick up emotionally vulnerable women by helping turn up dirt on their husbands