i'm alright in bed but i'm better with a wrench

i hate coming out. how is you not knowing my gender a me problem. figure it out idiot.

i fucking love tumblr on new years i scroll past a glittertext gif wishing me a happy 2002 i scroll past my mutual wishing me a happy 2018 i scroll past a gifset wishing me a happy 2013 i scroll p

thanks for letting me hang out on here even though i dont have a favorite mounting goats song

it's okay if you as a lesbian want to fuck the straight blonde popstar but you can't be pretending she's a lesbian too girl at least make it a lesbian corruption kink or some shit

World's most sexless pervert award

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

This was intended to be a 30 note shitpost for my Florida mutuals but I forgot that actually everyone loathes Ron DeSantis. Genuinely heartwarming 🥹

the soft animal of my body wants a spliff and four pints of cider

soft animal of my body is up for a kebab