Your limbs?? For my collection??

to really get womens sports to the next level we need to craft teams that are supervillains we need a powerful eternal successful team that also has bad vibes bad energy and is fundamentally evil we need to construct the new york yankees of women

i have a personality flaw that always positions me on the side of characters who are hiding everything and refuse to accept help. like do NOT confide in people. confiding in people is the enemy. REAL winners lie and lie and continue lying until they ruin every single thing theyve got going for them & didnt fix a single goddamn thing. keep digging grandpa youre almost there

I’m astounded at the level of personality that can be predicted from the word vape and these glasses.

this is the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to me in my entire life but I can’t even argue with this. what could I possibly say to defend myself in this instance. this was a one hit KO. this was a murder. this was a fucking slaughter and I have only myself to blame

You act like people knowing you’re in the Squirtle Squad is a bad thing?

yes that is exactly where these glasses are from. a perfectly respectable long standing anime and nothing more

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

I don't do "art studies," i draw "wrong" until I get an epiphany from god

yet another cosmic unfairness: a manatee is some kind of big fat dumpling beast of the sea that wants you to pet it so bad we had to make laws against doing just that for their safety

Haters will see you put on a condom and say he can’t afford to raise a child

Why would you have sex with your haters randy

I’m not really in any position to be picky

Bitch that’s the tubby custard machine 😂 *image depicts a vast monstrous infernal engine using hundreds of spiderlike arms of black iron to shove the writhing bodies of naked, emaciated humans into its blazing maw*

your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

The winner takes it Saul. The loser has to call

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me