The Bowery Presents
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untitled

titsay
Color Me Curious
Cosmic Funnies
Not today Justin
Doug Jones
$LAYYYTER
The Bright Sessions

oozey mess
Fai_Ryy
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Love Begins
sheepfilms

ellievsbear
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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@dareyoutojump

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white people used to think Africans were all superstitious for believing mosquitoes caused malaria only to find out later that mosquitoes actually did carry the plasmodium that causes malaria, they used to call every islamic country degenerate and barbaric for tolerating gay people only to later rescind that viewpoint, a man named allan savory recently had a ted talk explaining that the old idea of desertification caused by overgrazing by animals was actually backwards and that the opposite was true. you think i’m ever going to believe the western narrative of history and science when my own logic tells me otherwise? when a lot of the outdated, backwards myth from my people actually turns out to be true? yes, there’s a difference between believing aliens did everything and a pill will make me magically healthy vs maybe we should reconsider the mainstream narrative of ancient egypt because things don’t add up and ancient wisdom tells us otherwise. white people can never get their sense of superiority out of their minds and it’s the reason it takes us ages to progress lmao.
The worst part is growing up believing that your culture is inferior and feeling shameful of it because of internalized racism
dont ask me what tf im talking about. i dont know ok? im just the vessel. the message has been gifted. i‘ve moved on
2008 meme: HOVERCAT…HOVERING
2019 meme: if we all started an impromptu insurrection against united states military bases they literally wouldnt be able to stop us
This is what moderate liberalism is pretty much about.

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i’m thinking about these mitski tweets…….
this shit is so funny i’m weak
The conversation surrounding cultural appropriation has been so severely mutilated by white “allies” that the original intention behind that conversation has become almost unrecognizable in most social contexts.
To explain what I mean, the conversation around cultural appropriation was started by black and native people to discuss the frustrations we feel at being punished socially and financially for partaking in our cultural heritage while white people could take, I.e. appropriate, aspects of our culture that we are actively shamed for and be heralded as innovators. It was about the frustrations we feel when the same white people who shamed us would take our culture and wear it as if they were the ones who created it while still actively shaming us for doing the same.
The original push behind naming cultural appropriation and having these conversations were so that we as a society could evaluate why we were punished for our heritage while white People were not. It was supposed to be about seeking solutions. The idea was to create a society where we could celebrate our cultures with impunity. It was never about telling white people that they “weren’t allowed” to do certain things. We did ask that white People stop doing certain things because they weren’t doing them respectfully and were not invited to do them, but the primary reason we asked them to desist was to reclaim the things they had stolen and to reassign them culturally back where they belonged.
White “allies” saw these conversations happening and instead of trying to aplify our own voices or even try to learn about the complexities behind why we were saying what we were saying, they instead began screaming over us and creating a narrative that was hardly even the bones of what we originally set out to say. It was like they took the conversation we were trying to have, completely decontextualized it, and stripped it of all it’s nuance in order to gain social currency by seeming progressive.
So the conversation around cultural appropriation went from “This aspect of our heritage belongs to us and we find it egregious that we are shamed for it. What steps can we take to address the racism that’s creating this situation as well as rehome the things that have been stolen” to “you’re not allowed to do that because if you do that you’re racist, we don’t really understand why that’s racist but you’re not allowed to do that and if you do that you’re a klansman no exceptions. So you’re not allowed because because”
At the end of the day, did I like the fact that sally was wearing dreads? No. But my primary concern was not that sally was wearing dreads but rather that sally could wear dreads and I couldn’t. THAT was the intended focus of those conversations. It was about addressing the inequality. It was about us. Now the conversation is just about sally and were completely forgotten.
White People are always asking me what they can do to help. You want to know? Stop talking. Aplify our voices and shut the fuck up because you all have pretty much derailed this conversation and many more like it to the point that we no longer are trying to make steps to understand and dismantle the racism around cultural appropriation and instead are just using it as social shaming tactics.
TL;DR: read my post. Most things worth learning about can’t be summarized in the bullet points of a buzfeed article. Don’t come into academic circles and complain because everything hasn’t been conviently summarized for you. Stop pretending that things aren’t accessible to you because you refuse to do the intellectual labor that is learning.
me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???
my brain:
my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………
ranibow sprimkle……..
kepchup.
SPINCH
Akhenaton “the Alien hybrid” pharaoh according to Ancient Alien theorists
The argument is “WhY dOesS AkHenAtOn lOok DiffreN to OhEr PhaRaOhs? ALIEMS????”
Here’s the answer and its a wild fucking ride, lemme tell you.
Akhenaton was a fucking revolutionary Pharaoh and almost single handedly tried to rewrite ALL of ancient Egypt’s religion during his rule. He;
1: Moved Egypt’s Capital to a new city further down the Nile called Akhenaton after himself which is entirely based on worshiping the singular god, Aten. 2: Established a new religion that saw a singular god called “Aten” rather than an entire pantheon and esentially said “Yeah all those other gods we’ve been worshiping for literally thousands of years? Yeah just throw those out. They’re not canon now” 3: Re-worked how ancient Egyptian art was drawn (and this is the big one) where he was essentially bored with the “Eyptian style” of art and instead urged all HIS depictions in art capture his appearance more accurately to real life. His frescos also, unlike any other pharoah, show him in domestic scenes, spending time with his wife and children in very mundane, every day situations
(an image of Akhenaton with his wife playing with their young children. Akhenaton is shown kissing one of his daughters in fatherly affection)
Akhenaton was not traditionally handsome (probably thanks to hundreds of years of inbreeding thanks to how Ancient Egyptian royalty worked) and did not want to be depicted in a way that wasn’t true to himself. So his image is always shown as gangly with long limbs, slightly over-weight with a belly, elongated features and pronounced lips.
So….. this kind of really REALLY fucking pissed off literally every high ranking priest in all of Egypt because they’re now, to put it plainly, out of a job. Akhenaton’s moving of the capital also severely crippled the religious structure, moving political power away from where most of the greatest temples were, and since the Pharoahs are meant to be living gods on Earth, what does it say when the gods of Earth don’t live in the same city any more?
Akhenaton dies from unknown reasons but most likely the same genetic disease that gave him his appearance (some have obviously suggested assassination but there is no proof of this that’s been found and it remains up for debate) and the priests and historians go about striking his name from history and destroying and defacing artwork depicting him and his new religion.
(whoops)
He is then excluded from the king lists and is referred by later Dynasties as “The Enemy” or “That Criminal” in archival records. When Akhenaton’s mummy was located his sarcophagus and funerary mask were both deliberately destroyed.
You may have heard of his wife, btw. Nefertiti.
You ever wonder why she’s called the most beauiful woman in history? It’s probably because she was one of the few Pharaoh women accurate sculpted to relfect what she really looked like, versus a stock style.
also fun fact, this most famous image of her is an incomplete wooden bust found in the ruins of a sculptors’ workshop, presumeably because she was killed before he could finish it and he was like “aw shit… NOW what do I do with this?”
Now the problem is, the priests can’t just appoint a brand new Pharaoh, because pharoahs are descended from the gods themselves and their blood can’t be mixed with that of mere mortals (which is why Egyptian pharaohs marry their mothers and sisters. To keep their godly blood “pure”). So, the hastily appoint Akhenaton’s son who is 9 years old as the new pharaoh (and of course the child will have advisors to help him rule until he is an adult… of course.)
Problem. Akhenaton’s son’s name is Tutankhaten. “Living Image of Aten” and that just won’t do. So 2 years into his reign (aged 11) his name is changed to Tutankhamun, “Living image of Amun”after the sun god Amun or Amun-Ra. The city of Akhenaton is abandoned and falls into ruin.
All is well and Tutankhamun’s kingdom is ruled by his advisors… until he’s about 18 or 19. Whoops! Now he’s an adult and probably wants to start actually doing his job as the ruler of Egypt.
Oh wait no nevermind. he conveniently died. We’re not sure how exactly because, oh… uhm… it seems there are no surviving records of King Tut’s final days! Whoops!
Ok that’s an over simplification. In truth, thanks to many… many… many…. MANY scans and autopsies, we now now Tut broke his knee recently before he died, had a very aggressive strain of malaria which led to a bone disease and also, due to being inbred as FUCK because of how Pharaohs work, also suffered from mild kyphoscoliosis (a curved spine), pes planus (flat feet), hypophalangism of the right foot (missing bone), bone necrosis of the second and third metatarsal bones of the left foot, and a club foot that was so bad he could not stand unless aided by walking sticks. However the exact cause of death is still unknown but it seems direct assassination is unlikely.
But anyway.
So King Tut dies as does the two stillborn children of his and Akhenaton’s family line reaches an end. It did not end well for Tut’s wife either as she disappears from history after a war which left Egypt defeated and her new husband, Ay the new Pharaoh, with a sudden second wife. After Ay’s death a new Pharaoh comes into power by usurping the throne and has a complete and utter “Stricken from history” campaign against all of Tutankhamun’s family, including father, mother, daughters, wife, half sisters, and all other family members.
King Tut is buried in an unusually small tomb most likely due to his sudden death, that became forgotten and buried.
Fast forward 3,245 years to 1915 and his tomb is discovered by Archaeologists. The tomb is one of the most intact and untouched tombs EVER discovered in the history of all Agyptian Pharoahs, and almost single-handedly caused an absolute obsession with Ancient Egyptian culture and kickstarted what we now call “Egyptology”. A fascination which has never truly died even in modern times today.
…..
Anyway Akhenaton wasn’t an alien.

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july
chelsea peretti’s opening monologue at the tenth annual tech crunchies
inject the contents of this bin directly into my veins
Take a sip babes
The shoulder
the articulation of hubris
God really went nuts, just said “go wild, you funky little monkeys!” and gave us a spheroid joint that can move in all directions and do e v e r y t h i n g !~, except stay in its fucking place when hit by a light breeze
A fucking mess:
“Looks complicated, how does it work?” It doesn’t
big fan of God, but this was a rookie mistake
God: hmm…I’m not sure about this one human joint, can you review it?
Pre-callout Satan: looks great fam 👌
buddy, if anyone misused something it was god misusing their power when they elaborated this hot mess of a joint

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white people from a country that isn’t america: yea our country is much more progressive and accepting than the united states racism isn’t as bad here
non white people that live in that country:
FACTS!