Itās going to sound way melodramatic, but Iām not exaggerating when I say that I feel a genuine sense of grief following the end of Unus Annus.
I began watching the channel in the middle of March, right after the UK went into lockdown. All my house mates moved back home, I was furloughed from work, and there was a period of time where we could only leave the house once a day. So, I spent 4 months alone in that house (until I moved back home to my mum), and the first 2 of those, I was completely alone - the only people I saw were the post man and the delivery people (I had way too much anxiety to go shopping or even go for a walk - I only got fresh air from sitting in my garden).
During that time, Unus Annus became such a highlight of my days. Just knowing that every day, thereād be a new video out with Ethan and Mark doing something silly (and sometimes, talking about serious things) allowed me to shut off my brain for a while and made my feel like the world wasnāt so bad. And even though I wasnāt even an active part of the UA community, just being there, watching the videos, made me feel like I was a part of something. And that felt so, so nice when everything in my life (and everyone elseās life) was turned upside down.
Iāve always known that the end would come. That was the deal. 1 year. I never wanted them to not keep their promise. I always knew the day would come when everything would be gone except our memories.Ā
The final live stream started at 9 pm yesterday where I live. I watched it until 1am, then slept until 6am, woke up and watched the rest of the stream. It was a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but it didnāt feel bittersweet. Only nice. Like reminiscing with a friend.
I didnāt even feel particularly sad. Sure, I cried a bit when Ethan and Mark each made each other aĀ āeulogyā. But apart from that, I felt fine.
Itās only now, hours later, that itās starting to sink in that itās over. That thereāll be no more videos uploaded. No more inside jokes and weird memes to come in the future from the content. And it feels weird, it feels really weird.Ā
I feel asleep this afternoon (because Iād slept so little during the night), and my mind was playing bits and pieces of the videos as I was half-sleeping, and I woke up, horrified, because I realized there were things Iād already forgotten, images that I couldnāt capture quite right in my mind.
This has been a ridiculously long post that Iām sure isnāt of much interest to anyone else but me, but I really wanted to write it. It feels cathartic doing so.
Itās the end of Unus Annus: A project that has been called bothĀ āa cultā andĀ āan existential Jackass for a new generationā. Maybe it was both? Or neither? For me, it was simply a room to breathe when I really needed it, and a strange sense of connection with a lot of people I donāt know through our shared experiences that are now only memories.
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