Hello, welcome to italy

My posts have gotten tagged LGB more and more often lately. Usually accompanied by the worst additions imaginable. People are starting to whittle down and choose who they think of as disposable, so let me say this:

Queer as in trans people

Queer as in asexual people

Queer as in aromantic people

Queer as in nonbinary people

Queer as in bisexual people

Queer as in unlabled people

Queer as in anyone who counts themselves as queer.

Dark: You’re not aloud to fall in love with Y/N

Illinois: Wont be a problem.

Illinois a few hours later: THERES A PROBLEM.

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Y/N:*shows up late for meeting*

Dark: You’re late.

Y/N:You’re stunning

Dark:

Dark:…You’re forgiven

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Wilford: Wait, what time is it? *Looks at microwave counting down*

Wilford: Fuck, its 36, Im late.

Y/N: Wil, no-

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Dark: I can’t belive Mark betrayed us, why is it always the ones you expect the most?

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Dark: Y/N, have you ever considered having a child with me?

Y/N: You mean another one, because we already have three.

Dark: No…we dont?

Wilford, Yancy and Yan fighting over the same knife: Yeah. Dad, what’re they talking about?

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Y/N: Why do you have a picture of a narwhal on your wall?

Wilford: I just think mythical creatures are neat.

Y/N:

Y/N: Wilford, narwhals are real.

Wilford:

Wilford: NARWHALS ARE REAL?!?!?

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Y/N: I hate you!

Dark: Oh yeah? Well, I hate you too!

Y/N: *tearing up* You what?

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Yancy: Studies show that you are cute.

Y/N: source?

Yancy: Myself.

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Wilford: Sooo… what’s it like dating Y/N?

Illinois: Once, I asked them for a glass of water while they were pissed at me, and they brought me a glass full of ice and said “wait.”

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Dark: I’ve been dropping subtle hints that I have a crush on Y/N.

Y/N: (walks past Dark)

Dark: (ignores them)

Dark: That went pretty well.

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Actor: *enters the room*

Dark: Ah fuck! See I thought I was gonna have a happy day but then you walked in.

Wilford: What’d did he do?

Dark: Bitch gotta exist.

Y/N: *turns to Actor* Why would you do that?

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Dark: (puts a piece of bread on both sides of your face)

Dark: What are you?

Y/N: Yours!

Dark while tearing up and voice cracking: Lame-

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Wilford: What are your kinks?

Yancy: This is kinda out there, but… love and support from people who love me as much as I love them.

Wilford: Corny. Anyways, I wanna be choked-

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Y/N: I wish I was a princess.

Actor: You’re my princess, and this is our realm.

Y/N: *looking around the Mansion* This kingdom sucks.

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Yan: I invited you here because I crave the deadliest game.

Y/N,who spends too much time around Wilford.: Knife monopoly.

Yan: I was actually gonna hunt you down for sport, but now I’m really interested in whatever knife monopoly

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Y/N: Well,fuck me if I’m wrong but-

Actor: You’re wrong.

Y/N: But-

Actor: *taking off his robe* YOU’RE WRONG.

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Wilford, at the zoo with Y/N: (pointing to the closest animal) What are they in for?

Y/N: You know this isn’t a prison, right?

Wilford: So they can just leave?

Y/N: Well…no.

Wilford: (pointing at a penguin) I bet that one’s in for murder.

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Actor: *crying*

Dark: Mark, whats wrong?

Actor: I don’t want to talk about it.

Dark: Thank god, because-

Actor: It all started years ago…

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Y/N: Why are you always so gloomy?

Dark: My tragic backstory only unlocks at friendship level: 3

Y/N: What level am I?

Dark: 58, so it all started when-

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Wilford: *Pulls out a knife*

Y/N: Oh no.

Wilford: *Opens a box with it*

Y/N: oh okay.

Wilford: *Pulls a gun out of the box*

Y/N: Oh NO-

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Y/N: I am seeing someone, but I am worried about telling you who, because you are not gonna like it.

Dark: Just rip the bandage off, Y/N, it can’t be that bad.

Y/N: It’s Mark.

Dark: Put the bandage back on.

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Dark: STOP USING Y/N AS A PUPPET.

Wilford: *swing Y/Ns arms back and fourth* BRING ME A SANDWICH, BITCH!

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Actor: I’m ignoring you.

Y/N:

Actor: I said I’m ignoring you!

Y/N:

Actor: Stop ignoring me ignoring you!

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Y/N: I’m willing to do a lot of things.

Y/N: But admitting to Dark that I’m cold after he told me to bring a jacket is not one of them.

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Actor: It’s not stalking. I’m just trying to create a situation where Y/N gets used to seeing me in their world!

Yancy: Stalking.

Actor: No. Casual random encounters.

Dark: Which you engineer – and it’s called stalking.

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Yancy: I need you

Y/N: For?

Yancy: Ever.

Y/N: *tearing up* oh-

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Wilford: I’d rather kill Actor than watch Y/N cry.

You, vaguely upset: hey guys, I sorta had a bad day-

Wilford, loading a gun: Motherfucker better be prepared to take his last breath.

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Illinois: Listen kid-

Y/n: Please, call me Y/n.

Illinois: I’d really rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.

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Y/N: I’ve got my scooter. I’ve got my boys.

Google: We are not their boys.

Everyone else in the mansion: Yes, yes we are.

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Y/N: Hey Wilf, can I go out with Yan?

Wilford: What did Dark say?

Y/N: He said no.

Wilford: Then why would I say yes?

Y/N: Because he’s not the boss of you.

Wilford, thinking.: This is a trap. This is a trap. This is a trap. This is a tr-

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Yancy: Y/N, you know Dark will never agree to this plan.

Y/N: Sure he will!

Yancy: I’ve already asked him three times, he won’t do it

Y/N: Let me try

Y/N: *walks up to Dark* Can we-

Dark: Yes.

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Y/N: I have been building Bings trust for years with high-fives. Today I’m going to hit him with a “too slow.”

Y/N: Welcome to the real world, kid.

Google: *tearing up* Thats my s/o.

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Wilford: I’m 50% intelligence, 80% power, and 70% a natural hero.

Google: That’s 200% percent.