DANK DAZIEZ

Starting a new job always puts me in a state of exhilarated anxiety. I do a ton of research on the company and position in forums, Youtube videos, blogs, you name it! I just want to be the best I can be while also preparing myself for the worst.

A couple months ago I applied to be a City Carrier Assistant for the United States Postal Service. Frustrated with my experience working for Amazon in their logistics department, I thought I'd give it a try. It's been about two months since the day I submitted my first application to getting my orientation date starting tomorrow. The roller coaster of taking the personality assessments, to the 473 exam, multiple background checks, group and 1-on-1 interview with the Post Master, offer acceptance, drug test, and fingerprinting process has put me into a state of anxiety. Finally I'll be able to breathe on Monday when I start my orientation.

This is the highest starting pay for a position I've ever accepted, although I've had some interesting jobs. My eagerness is fueled by my need to support my family. I'm a single mother to an 8-year old daughter. For the last nine months, my parents have been helping me with childcare by having my daughter stay with them during the week so that I can work. I pick her up on my off day, and keep her until a few hours before I start work. I was working at Amazon as a graveyard (10pm-8am) Sortation Associate, which made me so tired that I would literally sleep the day away. Eventually I got a second job as a Delivery Driver that I began working at (4pm-9pm). Between those two jobs I didn't have a full off day, but regardless I would always make it work to spend time with my baby. Needless to say, I really appreciate the help from my parents, because without them I wouldn't have a way to make a living without adding a bunch more counterproductive financial burdens upon myself.

     Black Mirror season 3 episode 1 is everything to me. The story begins with a woman living in a society where every social interaction is rated with a handheld device, and their ratings are displayed publicly (similar to a modern day ride share driver). Although the character has a relatively high rating, a 4.2 is merely average, holding minimal perks. Desperate to move into a dream living community, she has to improve her rating to acquire discounted rent. The environment seems to be warm, friendly, and extremely clean (beware of littering, you don't want to get rated down for something so simple, right?). Although this society seems to be perfect, what would happen if you were tired of upholding a facade to meet societies standards?

     The more I watched this episode, I found myself relating a little too much. I tend to get lost in social media, scrolling for hours out of my day, looking at little blurbs of people's lives. Sometimes I will see a post and before determining if I give it a reaction, I'll check to see who posted it in fear of some type of social backlash for acknowledgment. Why is this a world I live in? How did I become a victim of this social media disease? I feel fortunate to have grown up in a time where I could watch technology develop before my eyes, yet I also feel cursed that social media can be seen as more important than a real face-to-face social interaction. Do you ever miss the days where information didn't travel as fast? Currently, everyone is constantly sharing information and life updates to the point where if you spent your time online watching certain people you would feel like you spent the whole day with them from the comfort of your own home. Why would you even want to leave the house if you have social anxiety and you can passively interact with people that you care to socially follow?

     During the episode, the main character when through a change. At first she was obsessed with boosting her status, but in the end she just wanted to prove a point while staying true to herself. Sadly, we now live in an era where it's not always popular to speak your mind if you're just a random civilian. Topics have to be correctly politically coated in order not to hurt someone's feelings. Adversely, so called “media influencers” are allowed to say things that are so outlandish and distasteful that it captivates you into wanting to see more. I don't understand how we stooped so far from what our society was supposed to stand for, honor and pride.

     During the character's psychotic breakdown, she lands herself in jail. While locked away she's allowed to say whatever is on her mind, because she reached the lowest possible rating. The liberation of being able to say whatever you want without repercussions is vital to our society. Millions of us are mentally enslaved to the internet and social media. If we need to research something we can quickly tap into our phones and receive a quick answer. If we want to check in on a friend (or enemy) that we haven't seen or heard from in a while, there are only a few clicks and swipes you need to get a window into their world. Even if we don't have an account, it is possible that the fear of being found or entering this virtual life is too much to handle. Therefore, you miss out on key updates in the lives of people that you care about. And when you see them in person, you have too much catching up to do, because they assumed that you've been following them on social media. As a result, you can't keep up with the random story they're talking about, and you have to ask them for the backstory about every up-to-date detail of their live because you haven't been keeping up. Soon you realize that you don't really know this person at all anymore, and you question why you're still friends with them in the first place, creating further distance, or making you want to join this virtual storybook world that your friend created so that you can stay in the loop. It's all a prison.