smith and sword

(pov i am your coworker and you are having a casual conversation with me) you know, that reminds me of something that hurts so much to remember that i actually can’t even mention it at all

Sorry I started sobbing uncontrollably when you expressed the slightest concern for my lack of human connection, and casually mentioned you think I deserve better than a life of isolation and loneliness. Super weird. Not sure what was up with that lol. You still think I’m cool and mysterious and sexy, right?

top economists are saying today that so long as the coyote doesn't look down he will never fall

ahaha yes of course, thank you for the helpful correction. *may* I have a juice, you grammar-prescriptivist fucking pedant ?

currently waiting in the principals office

my argument that language is an emergent and continuously evolving social technology and that being as such a priori impositions on its structure are facile has not seemed to sway him

thTjhe y are calling my sister

shejustsighedrllyloud

i think if i can just explain my point better everyone w

htey made jiejie come get me and. i know she was kindof angry cuz she has a face she makes but when we were walking home she told me i was right, but sometimes thats not what matters. and i said But thats not fair and she sighed . and she said i was right and shes sorry . but i just have to learn to pick my battles. and we got ice creabm at the store i picked strawberry

it's always two distinguished gentlemen saying precisely to each other

They need to stop packaging pop tarts and their generics by twos. Two pop tarts is too many. I'm 25 years old. I'm practically geriatric. Two pop tarts is too many. Two pop tarts will kill me.

Not true. Two potptarts is the perfect amount of potparts to have for dinner #dinner

Something bad is happening to me soon

Nah dude don’t worry about it, she’s always saying shit like “I am bound to oaths I no longer believe in…” and trying to die in pointless battles. I wouldn’t pay it much mind

Remember board games can and should have a victim