Sword slash to the chest. And you're on fire

Bro I just nearly fucking died

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

I can never leave here

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

irs.

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

but for this two-faced bitch there are twice as many stars as usual

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

"Centipedes don't fuck" is one of my favorite animal facts. There are plenty of sexually reproducing animals that don't fuck per se (like a lot of fish) but centipedes don't even meet. Males just leave sperm packets lying on the fucking ground and females pick them up and take them home. They don't even hang out