I was going to start this post with, “not to brag..” but actually, that would be a lie. So let me begin truthfully:

And I've tried having faith

But I'll rot like a dog

'Cause I've always been scared of loving

Someone just a little bit more than I'm loved

Losing is fine

Everything is fine

“Look, I played a character for 15 years who in my opinion, was able to show affection, who was able to hug and to cry with his brother, with the people that he loved (…) So I would encourage you to tell your son that it’s okay to be emotional, men do cry, men do get hurt, men can do love, men do show affection.”

There's a moment after a death in the family when the grief is so heavy you feel like you can't stand up under it. And if you're very, very lucky, that's the moment when someone who loves you will pull you into the kitchen and get you a snack and tell you a joke or a funny story about the person you're missing and surprise laughter out of you.

And that laugh will be the first time you've laughed since they died, and it will feel terrible and wrong and also good and like the first deep breath of fresh air after you've been drowning. It will hurt. But you need it. You need to not be crushed under the weight of all that pain for a few minutes, and the person who gives that to you knows it.

and then there's Cas

I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be, what… what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want… it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know… I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

And I've tried having faith

But I'll rot like a dog

'Cause I've always been scared of loving

Someone just a little bit more than I'm loved

Losing is fine

Everything is fine