Orion Pharma

phan is real, destiel is canon, johnlock are parents, the doctor is gay and mcr are back. you have reached the end point of tumblr thank you for participating and good night

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

world heritage post

i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”

happy 9th anniversary to your dildo fiasco chris grawly!

at your wifes house rn😏 she hitting me with a broom

bro my dad “went to dinner” at my favorite mexican restaraunt and said he’d bring me home a burrito and it’s fucking 9pm

my dad is having an affair

dad brought me the promised burrito just now so here’s my obligatory post exonerating him from infedelity

that burrito was fantastic. i’m inclined to think my dad has never had sex in his life

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

i have so many hobbies and interests but each day the four horsemen (instant gratification, shortened attention span, procrastination, exhaustion) grab me by the throat and shake me until i collapse in my comfy bed

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

caked up sewer queen

Dude has been Blair witchin’ it for 2000 years

i get why people were criminals back in the day. if i was running from the cops in the thirties and i turned around and saw three horses and a model t id probably slow down to a light jog

... You... You think you can outrun a horse?

in the 1930s yeah. I did a lot of cardio

Back when you were around in the 1930s?

yeah back in the 1930s

the thing about adulthood is when someone says something extremely rude to you, you can either turn the other cheek or calmly & firmly correct them. The third option is to tell them “say that again, I’ll bite you” & everyone sort of nervously laughs and tries to move on from your little joke. Which is why I think it’s very important that when they do say it again you follow through. Nobody actually expects you to bite them. We should be biting more. Also if you’re with the county health department do not read thi s post

NO WAY

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

He was the officiator

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

Oh my god they were moon mates.

THEY WERE MOON MATES

@hellsite-hall-of-fame this feels like it’s older than it actually is