I think therefore I [exist, unfortunately].

And on Friday the 13th, I will reign supreme! ..as the unluckiest soul on this godforsaken Earth, of course.

I've realized that I find the most simple tasks to be beautiful and romantic- like taking the time to rescue a discarded note from a frozen sidewalk. Decoding old secrets and revealing what was once forbidden? Yeah, totally romantic.

I once saw a school bus full of cows. No one would ever believe me, but it happened, dammit.

I feel so diluted because loving you has watered me down.

The really dramatic big boob affair. It would make a great band name. Just sayin'.

Death is a result of life. Knowing this, you'd think we could accept it more readily.

To whomever these stupid motherfuckers are that keep allowing their dogs to bark in the wee hours of the morning: I will annihilate you.

What good will that do? A frown turned upside down is still a frown. You're just viewing it from the wrong angle, jackass.